Today at my house we had our own 6 hour healthcare debate.
On my side of the aisle, I had a plan for my children's healthcare to which my opponents--said children--strenuously objected. This plan included steps to make spending more efficient and make preventative medicine a higher priority. The plan called for bold and immediate reforms like Eating your Lunch and Taking a Nap. Or as my opponents called it, “sleep socialism.”
As the Senator from the great state of Toddler Hysteria put it, “It starts out with all of us sharing a nap and the next thing you know, Russian tanks are steaming down Main St. !"
Typical sound-bite scare tactics. Though, I'll admit, I was thrown briefly for a loop. I was surprised that they knew that Russians were ever a threat; what Russians are; of the existence of tanks, or the anachronistic term “steaming.” Nothing really steams anymore unless you've got hot food or you’re going to the bathroom outside in the cold. But I digress.
My opponents are, in point of fact, threatening a sleep filibuster, their third of the week, if I don’t put an immediate hold on on this "ridicyou-us" idea. I have countered by implying that I will circumvent their filibuster with certain parliamentary techniques. Like "keeping you up a little later," "threatening to close your door," and in the case of an impassible impasse, benadryl. The last one is a bluff. This administration is proudly anti-baby drugging. For now.
They have demanded I pledge both not to use any of these techniques and to scrap my original plan if I want them to commit to the debate. I called for a time-out.
We're voting on it . . . I am vetoing the majority "no time-out provision." There is screaming.
It seems I will have to move forward on my health-care initiative without bi-partisan support. I will have to use a large part of the surplus coffee from the Homemaker stimulus plan to push things through.
Politics ain't what they used to be.
P.S. I was not surprised that they knew the term "socialism." All toddlers are crazy right wing extremists (anti-sharing) and therefore have received their talking-points memo.