First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A Hundred

I've finally made it.  The Elysian Fields of small bloggerdom.  100 followers.  10X10.

I'm a third of the way to being able to nobly defend Sparta.  Airbrush me some abs. And some pecs.  And shoulder muscles.  And biceps.  And 200 more stalwart followers.  And a fancy accent.  Then let me at those Persian hordes.

I could do a five-part "greatest" show on VH1.

I got 99 problems but followers ain't one.

A hundred.  It's the largest number the P-Nut knows.   1st day of school:

"There are alot alot of kids in my class, daddy?"

"Oh yeah?  How many?

"20."

Hey, she's not an idiot.

My 100th follower's name is Catherine and she's a senior in college.  She's got a blog and also she has excellent taste in reading materials.

Of course, as the 100th follower, Catherine should--and will-- receive a prize.  She will be getting Carl Kasell's voice on her home answering machine.  And 47 individual cigarettes she can use to trade for favors at her "college."  Congrats, Catherine!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When my wife was showering this morning, I happened to open the basement door and hear the sound of water pouring on to the floor.  My first thought was, "Ooooh, waterfall."
Turns out we had a big ol' clog right near where our pipes leave the house to hook up with the main line.  It cost us $215 to find and fix this problem.

The culprit.  Wipes.  Hold on judgy-judgers.  They were flushable wipes.  Did not disintegrate one iota. Now that I have a hundred followers, I've got to be careful not to publicly besmirch any one company.  Let me just say, the brand name rhymed with Bottenelle.

After a little googling we came to find out that those things never work.

And corporate America was always so straight forward with us before.

A little self-pimping:  New DadCentric post is up.  What happens when the rain forest meets Chili's?

And if you feel like reading some really good writing, this is the main page.  Just scroll around and start reading anywhere.

That is all, my friendly-friends.

HM

15 comments:

  1. Fer realz?! Those wipes don't "melt?!" Son of a biscuit eater. We use those thinks like tic tacs. (Many at a time to freshen smelly areas.)

    We are going to be in big trouble........

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eh, followers schmollowers. The Public Taste skews towards Real Housewives, Lady Gaga, and Domino's Pizza. They don't know what to do with True Awesomeness.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those wipe bastards! Phone Ralph Nader. Nobody wants to deal with the wrath of Nader

    ReplyDelete
  4. Crap! Gotta stop flushing those wipes. Not Rottenelle but throwing them out anyway.

    Congrats on 100. You can go into syndication now.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just feel bad for Momof5. She's your 99th follower, yet she means nothing to you. She came so close to fame, but remains unsung.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 83rd means crap too. I knew I shoulda waited.

    We learned the very hard way about Snottonelle too. Flushable? Sure but clogs abound.

    ReplyDelete
  7. So that probably means my biodegradable tampons don't actually biodegrade?

    Oh well...

    ReplyDelete
  8. The best present of all is the shout out! =)

    I have those wipes too....not too pleased to hear that I must now amend my disposal habits!

    Also, I feel bad for your 99th follower as well....

    But I still feel special =)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm trying to be happy for you for 100 and all...but I'm too bitter because I have a total of 17 followers...DOWN ONE from last night when I had 18. As my son says: "Whatevs."

    OK, I'll say it: Congrats.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Another issue with those types of wipes is that you can... don't ask me how I know... develop allergies to whatever crappy chemicals are in there that are supposed to make them biodegrate (word?) and don't. Even if you have never ever had an allergy to anything in your life. Ever. It isn't a fun place to have an allergic reaction (from what I hear).

    Consider this, too. In addition to those 100 that are willing to commit, there are likely 5 times more that are like me. Follow but don't like to be official and look like a follower. I lead dude.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Woo hoo! 100 followers. You are a rock star! Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I had to stage an intervention on my boys with those damn flushable wipes, and then I had to break my husband on the cleaning wipes after I saw him toss a used one in the toilet. Listen, I don't do life without air conditioning or electricity due to short-term power outages well, so take the plumbing away due to a wipes wipeout? Hell no.

    Kudos on the follower. I think this brings you dangerously close to cult leadership. Use your powers wisely.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Blimey, I am really pissed that I wasn't the 100th reader. I was sure that I had timed my comment just right. The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.............!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just remember those you rode the Zomboni with on the long ride to the first rung. Congrats.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I used flushable wipes when I went camping... now that makes me feel bad.

    Wait ago Catherine... I guess those of us that, ya know... followed you when you were UNDER a 100 don't get any prize...

    I see how it is.

    ReplyDelete

Blog Rankings

Humor Blogs - Blog Rankings