First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Can you see this?

Post a first trip to the eye doctor. The whole family is together, having a picnic at the arboretum.

Her: "Daddy. I'm the eye doctor. Look in here and let me check your eyes.

Me: "ok"
 I look in to an imaginary eye machine.

Her: "Daddy. Look into the machine."

Me: "I am."

Her: "Ok. You're all set."

Me: "Ok. I like the eye machine. I'm a machine. I---am--a--robot." I press my forehead into hers, peer into her eyes and say in perfect robot monotone," I am a robot eye doctor. You have a slight astigmatism. My calculations are always correct."

Her: She wanders away, comes back, presses her forehead to mine, peers into my eyes and says in perfect robot monotone," I am a robot. Your eyeballs are nipples."

That can not be a good diagnosis. Unfortunately, she's a robot. Her calculations are always correct. Her ppor mommy received the same diagnosis. Must be contagious. Ol' Nipple eyes.

It turns out she does have a slight astigmatism. Glasses not (yet) necessary. An affliction from her mother's side of the family. Apparently, there is a price that comes with being beautiful, and it's mediocre eyesight.

5 comments:

  1. LOL :) Nipple eyes! Priceless!
    Yes! I have an astigmatism... it's a small price to pay for all of this beauty! Ha! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. She won't need perfect eyesight; she's beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Eyesight fades but nipples....

    ReplyDelete
  4. She is adorable. Nipple eyes? How in hell did you keep a straight face?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol! I love the shit she come's up with!

    ReplyDelete

Blog Rankings

Humor Blogs - Blog Rankings