First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Sunday, March 23, 2014

The Pumpkin Man Gets Glasses.

And just like that, The Pumpkin Man wears glasses. Bespectacled wunderkind of pre-k 4. He needed them. A lot, it turns out. He's been a very good boy about wearing them. And all I can think is how now that probably means that when he grows up he is probably going to be a stripper .

Here's what happened:

The latest Scandinavian dance offering "What Does the Fox Say?"was on the Ipad and as began to replay again the boy shucked his clothes and started dancing hard and fast.  And the kid has rhythm and he kept shouting, "Mommy. look at me! Daddy, look at me! Look at me, daddy!" and he's wiggling and wriggling and shaking his tiny pale ass and my wife says, "You spent all this time worrying about keeping your daughter off the pole and it's the boy you should be worried about." And she was right.

And I see him all grown up--still with the glasses, and down at the Chippendale's they call him "The Professor"and that's his whole stripping persona.

"Or Mr. Wall Street, "my wife says, and I say or "'The Lawyer because," and it all plays out in my head as I'm talking, "he'll have quit actual law school to strip. He'll have done it on the for some extra cash for a while but then, though he's talented at the Law he doesn't truly love it so, you know, why not full time? And I'll yell and cry and say to him 'Your mother and I watched Magic Mike you know? We know some of those people are unsavory!"

So that's how I've been doing. Growing as a parent and a person. How about you?

HM



4 comments:

  1. Ha! Glad to see we are not the only parents who amused themselves with hypothetical futures for our children.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha! Glad to see we are not the only parents who amused themselves with hypothetical futures for our children.

    ReplyDelete
  3. All children have a mild to moderate "Miley Cyrus" phase. Let's hope it's a mild case.

    ReplyDelete

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