First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Friday, April 23, 2010

A report from the Front: It's littered with kitties

My daughter is singing "Hey Diddle Diddle" this morning.  Loudly.  Repeatedly.  At 7:54 am.  We've been up for over two hours.  My son keeps trying to climb our 5 foot high cat tree like he's in Tibet searching for the secret of life.   At the mountain top awaits a large (fat) cat who's answer to "why are we here?" is a fist full of death.   Claws like scimitars.  Probably tipped with poison.  My daughter bellows a report of the morning's goings on up to my just rising wife.  She yells back,  "Is daddy taping it?"  I'm not.

Last night we hung curtains.  During this seemingly mundane domestic exercise, I fell through a small kitty condo.  I was standing on it to hang the last of the curtains.  The top gave way and I plunged through it.  Very Laurel and Hardy.  I'm playing both parts.  Where was my step ladder?  3 feet to the right.  But the kitty condo was right there.

It was worth it though.  I took a thin cat bed and placed it over the hole.  Kitty booby trap.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Then, the large (fat) cat mentioned above approached.  She leapt with a corpulent grace, like a Hippo with prima ballerina aspirations, onto the cat bed.  Her fat kitty ass crashed through the cat bed.  Sheer panic painted her kitty features.  She quickly scrabbled for purchase. She looked so frigging surprised.   I laughed and clapped.  I was sincerely delighted.  It's like I'm seven. Of course, I did the same thing to my self, where as it took a cleverly imagined trap to bring the cat down to my level.    It's like I'm seven.

This is a direct report from the Front lines of Homemaker Dadhood.  There are cats and toddlers everywhere.  Send Tuna.  They all like tuna.  Hope everyone is having as much fun as we are.  Have a great weekend everybody.

Homemaker Man

This post brought to you by Fatherhood Fridays at dad-blogs.com.

13 comments:

  1. Too funny. Cats can be really hilarious when they try to play it cool and act like what just happened was not an accident; it was part of their planned activity!

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  2. My husband would have done everything you did. Scorn the footstool we have right over there? Check. Wait breathlessly for the cat to fall through the hole? Check. Laugh like a demented loon? Check.

    But he couldn't have written about it as you did, so that I see you clapping with delight and probably capering around the room. Great job.

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  3. Hey this is my first visit to your site. Very funny stuff man. I think it helps out in parenting if you have the mindset of a 7 year old. You should be set.

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  4. Well played, way to turn your lemons into comedy lemonade. Now what will you do to trap that toddler?

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  5. The good thing is no bones were broken!
    Have a FUNtastic weekend guys~

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  6. OMGosh that was hilarious!!! Especially the "I laughed and clapped. I was sincerely delighted. It's like I'm seven. Of course, I did the same thing to my self, where as it took a cleverly imagined trap to bring the cat down to my level. It's like I'm seven." part! OMGosh...LOL

    Oh ummm also, sorry you fell through, no really, I'm sorry! ;)

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  7. I have also used creative climbing to get tasks accomplished throughout the house. It's what we do as husbands. Sometimes it brings chaos, comedy or success.

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  8. That's awesome. You should plant more kitty booby traps around the house and then tell us about them, or video it.

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  9. Kitty condo developers have notoriously lax building standards.

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  10. Just found your blog...enjoyed the post. Especially since I now know I am not alone... I fell through a small cat condo when using to to reach something... many moons ago. Wish I had the forethought you had and made a trap.

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  11. HaHaHa! That must have been awesome to witness. Sorry Charlie, no tuna here to send.

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  12. Did my falling through the kitty condo really call for that many exclamation points? Or the CAPS?

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