First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Zumbastic

First of all, the Peanut and The Pumpkin Man were in the playroom at the Y and the pman had to go to the bathroom. He wouldn't go with the woman there. Only mommy or daddy. Or, his sister. Despite her diminutive stature, she lifted him up--they weigh about the same--onto the toilet seat, and then helped him get down and get dressed.  I am so proud of both of them. This show of sibling love and independence can only mean one thing: it's a matter of time now until my wife and I can leave them alone long enough for a date night. Tomorrow maybe? Next week? We'll see.

Second, I tried Zumba tonight. Me and My wife. The Latin based dancercise craze that has swept all of America except for the fat parts.  I won't say I was great at it, I will only say that if you can picture a short, bewhiskered, uncoordinated Jew, still pudgy with holiday overindulgence, trying his damndest to mimic merengue flavored exercise moves while shvitzing like Brett Ratner at a Pflag meeting well, you're picturing Heaven.

I was the only guy in the entire class. So I was obviously able to keep a low profile. With the fluidity of a stone golem and the audible grunting of a young Jerry Lewis, I embodied the term "smooth."

For her part, my wife did much better that she thinks she did. as is usually the way. We're going to try it again this week. It was fun, if only because we got the chance to say "Zumba." I'm confident going forward. I'm sure if I keep at it, in no time I'll be moving like Fred Astaire. The current version. But still.

HM

15 comments:

  1. You are my hero. (Why didn't you invite me? I really and truly need a good belly laugh.)

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  2. I loved this post! Please don't reach the level of the current Fred Astaire....we would miss you!

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  3. That's a mighty fine picture you paint sir!

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  4. Ah, I can only imagine. I would have pissed my poise pad had I been in a Zumba class with you, but I'll never do a Zumba class, so I guess that's neither here nor there.

    Way to man up though. For real!

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  5. Gold stars all around at the pink house!

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  6. You had me at Zumba! I will now be follwing your musings frequently. Was Zumba class the date night you were hoping for?

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  7. I'm picturing Charo as your instructor.

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  8. Doesn't Zumba count as a date night?

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  9. Is it like the Hora? I can dance the Hora.

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  10. I just joined 24 Hour Fitness where they have a Zumba class. I looked into what "Zumba" was and immediately decided to pass.

    I was hoping it was Zumba Juice or something.

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  11. I'm picturing you as more Flintstone than Astaire, but ultimately I guess I'll defer to your choice of Freds.

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  12. I'm picturing you as more of a Flintstone than an Astaire, but I guess ultimately the choice of Freds is yours to make.

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  13. Appreciate the imagery there, man. Nice one.

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  14. I like the mental imagery you supplied there. Nice one.

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  15. You are a mensch! I've been threatening to go to Zumba with my wife, but, you know, someone has to stay home with the kids. Also, the clientele at our 24hr Fitness is 80% gay dudes, so my lameness would not be as well tolerated as yours probably was.

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