In a special episode of MFTBP, a guest post from the estimable Mrs. HomemakerMan. As talented as she is beautiful, my lovely wife shares with us a true story.
A stupid little cat scratch… sometimes it’s just easier to
give them the flippin’ bandage
Players: Peanut
(5 years old), Pumpkin Man (3 years old), Ivy Pickles (5 months old), Mommy (40
yrs old)
Conversation 1 –
between the kitchen and the dining room
Peanut (in tears): Mommy! I’m bleeding really bad!
Mommy (panicked): What?! What happened?!
Peanut (matter of fact): Ivy scratched me, like really bad…
Mommy (washing a long, shallow scratch):It’s fine. What were
you doing to her?
Peanut: (guiltily) Carrying her. (rising toward hysteria)
But it isn’t fine! Look at this blood! I need a Band-Aid!
Mommy (rational): It’s too long for a Band-Aid, besides it’s
not a big deal. Go play.
Conversation 2 –
overheard in the playroom
Peanut (whining): Pumpkin Man, look at what Ivy did to me!
Pumpkin Man (concerned): Does it hurt, Peanut?
Peanut (proud): Yes, and look at the blood.
Pumpkin Man (awed): hmmmm …that is a lot of blood. A real
lot!
Peanut (defiant): Yup, and Mommy won’t give me a Band-Aid.
Pumpkin Man (deeply concerned): Why?
Peanut (conspiratorial): She says it’s too big… hurts so
much…
Pumpkin Man (amazed): Uh oh, look at that blood! Squeeze it
again!
Peanut (authoritarian): Here, try to get the blood on this…
Conversation 3 – In
the dining room
Mommy (frustrated): Peanut, come here!
Peanut (fearful): What Mommy? Do you need to see my scratch
again? No doctors!
Mommy (acquiescent): No, no doctors. Let’s put a bandage on
that scratch, okay?
Peanut (hopeful): Yes, please.
Mommy (resigned): Better?
Peanut (satisfied): Yup, all better.
-- End Scene
Epilogue: I still
don’t know why they were trying to collect her blood – could have been drug
testing, DNA experimentation, or
genetic modification… I just knew that at that point it was easier to give her
the flippin’ bandage.