First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Monday, October 25, 2010

It Is NOT time for that

During drop-off and pick-up for the Peanut the past week, there has been a particular subject that I've been able to pick out from the usual parental chit-chat ("He hates getting dressed . . . She bullies her brother . . . Me? Amyl nitrate, usually . . .").  


Who's siblings have been, who's going next, how many times, when's the best time of year, etc.

The past week a little boy from the Peanut's class--who we'll refer to as "Jack" because that's his first name--has been absent.  He's been at Disney World.  He's three years old and it's his first trip to the Enchanted Multinational Corporation.  His 6 year old sister made the Disney hat trick this time.

He came back to school today and we found out two things: He talked a lot about going back to school, and he seemed overwhelmed.

Color me surprised.  

It just seems, mmm, not savvy, to take a kid that young to Disney World and expect him to have a really good time.   

Also, to me it smacks a little of indoctrination.  Get'em started young so when they're eleven they can rat me out to the Disney Secret Police when they catch me laughing at Bugs Bunny.  

In the interest of full disclosure I have two admissions:  1.) I myself did go to Disney Land when I was seven.  We were living in santa Monica. The guy my mother was dating at the time, a Hebrew school teacher brimming with mustache and lustrous Jew-Fro, took us for the day.  I can't say exactly what I was thinking during the day, but it wasn't exclusively "wheeeee!  I'm at Disney!"  

There was also a good helping of, "Hey. You trying to bang my mommy there, Rabbi?"  Or words to that effect.

2.) I am dreading the day when it will be our turn to do the Diz.  I hope to hold it off as long as I can.  The only Disney related movie we've partially watched here is Finding Nemo. And that's only because the Peanut loves fish and Finding Nemo kicks ass. 

Otherwise the whole Princess motif really bugs me and The Peanut already thinks of herself in those terms, to some degree.

I think the best way for the kids to do Disney is to wait until they're in college.  Then they get their two best friends (three best if the third one is the one who has a car), a big bag of weed, gather up their Xmas/ leftover loan money, and drive.

I know we're most likely going to have to do the Diz eventually. And the Peanut does love her rides.  And I can't say that I don't sing a heartfelt version of "Part Of Your World" from The Little Mermaid.  

I'd just like to hold off long enough that, when the trip is over, and we're home safe and sound, and we've checked for listening devices, I can turn to the kids and say, "Ok, just so we're clear, any princess worth her salt can fight her own battles, Bugs Bunny is so much funnier it's not even a contest, Donald duck is a douche' bag, and here's the thing about gigantic media companies." 

Then again, maybe I'm just being an asshole.  Which is always a possibility.


  1. uh, no - NOT an a** hole. I'm pretty sure.

    My kids, now 22 1/2 and nearly 17, have *never* gotten to go to the Disney parks. Color me *BAD MAMA!!* It IS possible to avoid it. Just say "not in the budget this year, kids". Every year. Until they grow up. I like the 3 friends with leftover college loan $$ plan. :-)

  2. I went to the Magic land when I was 11. Now, the grandparents are already talking about taking Lukas. He is only 3. I'm not to worried about him being indoctrinated since he doesn't really know any of the characters yet, and I don't think rides or guys in stuffed suits are going to have him all in a tither.

  3. 1) You can't escape the Diz. But I respect you for trying.

    2) Finding Nemo DOES kick ass.

    3) I agree with you about waiting until your kid is old enough to appreciate the happiest place on Earth. My parents persuaded my wife and I to take my daughter up there when she was 3. It was unpleasant, stressful and a waste of money because she was TOO YOUNG. It got a lot more fun a couple years later, though. 5 was the magic age.

  4. I could never afford to take my kids to Disney when they were little. Their grand parents took them when they wre 7 and 8 I think. Neither of them has yet taken his kids, so I guess they weren't indoctrinated.

  5. I am, and always have been, in love with Disney movies. I have a collection of kiddie movies that is probably taller than the Peanut.

    Still, I am the third of four kids. We have NEVER been to Disney Land, and I don't feel like my childhood was lacking in anything because of this lack. Just have them join band, and they'll get to go to plenty of amusement parks when they're actually old enough to appreciate it! =p

  6. My younger son, who went to Walt Disney World when he was 5 (and doesn't remember too much of that trip) now has a girlfriend whose happy place is Disneyland. They went last winter, and it was okay. Last week they went to Blizzcon, and since they were nearby, did another DL visit. My son wasn't thrilled- "I've been there and am all set for 10 years, I think".
    My point? I have to have a point? The kids liked the early visit, mostly to be able to be in the "I went to Disney" club. They weren't nuts about the characters and don't believe princesses should wait around to have the prince save them. I think having them go with their friends when they are old enough to pay their own way and get themselves there is an excellent idea.

  7. I've never yet taken mine, and they're 11, 8, and 6. So far, so good. The ex has taken them once, but I don't think they were overly thrilled with it.

    My older sister (who's 41) and her hubs take themselves there on vacation. Without their kids. Why on earth would two semi-intelligent adults escape their own kids for the weekend, to go be surrounded by thousands of other people's screaming, whiney kids?

    I'll never understand the Disney appeal.

  8. I was 28 when I went on my very first Disney vacation, and dammit, if it was good enough for me to be a grown up and pay for things myself, than it's good enough for my kids.

    Of course, I'd go again tomorrow if I could, but, well, I have kids and, weird, they cost A LOT of money. I don't remember the last time I had any.

    Wait...I think it was when I was 28.

  9. I, too, am a Disney refusenik. My friend, do not go gently into that dark night. Rage, rage, against the buying of the...Disney tickets.

    LooneyTunes are way better. Our local library has all 6 volumes of the Looney Tunes Golden Collection; so our children have been thoroughly indoctrinated in the right way of thinking. And - believe it or not - we have never shown the poor dears a Disney movie. 'Cause we think they deserve better.

  10. Son is 18 and never been. He is however on passport #3, visited Europe and Australia and is currently on his 8th visit to Africa. Said all the above to show that I do not suck as a Mom, at least this is my mantra nightly as I clutch my wine glass tightly while rocking back and forth in my chair.

  11. Took my great-nephew when he was 5. Universal scared him but he did love the Disney. Then again, that was 13 years ago way before the Disney owned the world.

    I went to the World with a church group at 15. I liked making out on the bus best of all.

  12. I have a HUGE issue with Disney movies? WHY must at least 1 of the parents (usually the Mom) be murdered or missing? Nemo still would have kicked ass if the story was that the Dad had to go chase after him because Mom had to stay home and take care of the other 400 kids. Don't even get me started on Bambi... so my kids have seen very few Disney movies (Toy Story series rocks!!) and don't seem to miss it. Pixar filled that void pretty well :) However... have to say that

    2) I LOVE Disneyworld! We had a grandmother living in central Fl so kind of sort of had reason to be there anyway and took the kids twice (so far) The first time our daughter was 3 - the best age of true belief IMO. She wasn't hugely into princesses but watching her see Cinderella and her posse (yes POSSE - don't go down a bad path there) sing to her from the castle and TRULY believe this was a princess singing to her? Had me crying. Many times that trip. Even had me pissed at my own parents that we never went.

    I was 33 the first time I got to go. Second time was different but maybe even better. Son was now 3 and in full Buzz Lighyear mode - his eyes were like saucers each time we saw Buzz & Woody and the gang (and one of the reasons Toy Story 3 had me bawling like a sapo since he's "old" now) Daughter was 5 that time & still not much into princesses but she had all her pictures from the first trip and her goal was to have all those characters she was in the photos with autograph the actual picture. TOTAL blast! Add to it we were in a VRBO house with 2 other families so at the end of the day came back to our own house with full kitchen, grill, pool, hot tub... BEST way to do it.

    We haven't been back again but will definitely go and anticipate going when the kids are big enough so that we can all go on the rides together. I can't wait!

    Stay home if the budget doesn;t allow. Don;t stay home to prove a point or out of cynicism. Best thing about that behemoth of a marketing company is that they do what they so well that no matter whenyou go you will find something to love - either for yourself or through the eyes of your kids.

  13. Disneyland just seems like a big nightmare to me, I don't like crowds or screaming children everywhere. Apparently I went to Disney Land when I was two or three but I have no memory of it, my mother told me I spent the entire time crying. It was probably because I was surrounded by screaming children.

  14. My daughter wants to go back to Disneyland in the worst way. I could pass on it for a while.

  15. Until last year we lived in L.A. and had annual passes -- my boys went to Disneyland from a few months old until, well, last year, at least every other month. It was never anything but awesome.

    We just did WDW with them this past summer and it was pretty much the best time ever.

    When you find that you're ready to make the trip let me know, I've got lots of tips on making it enjoyable for everyone (including, but not limited to, saving money and best areas to drink openly).

  16. I tried to win us Disney tickets via Scentsy, but my sales since the promotion have been horrible =( Sorry I failed you =(

  17. Scentsy, someone sells Scentsy? How do I order, where do I go... have empty warmers to fill!

  18. Hi Nubian! My site is is my site. I would definitely appreciate your business!

    Orders over 150$ have free shipping, and if you'd like to have a party you can get lot's of free stuff!! Distance is not a problem, though if you live around me I can usually get you free shipping on a local party.


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