This post is pretty weird today folks. It has absolutely nothing to do with parenthood or anything like that. And, it's weird. Did I mention that? I just have no where else to put stuff like this. Thanks for indulging my self-indulgence. Anyhow, here it is:
So I’m settin’ there, watching a multi-vortex tornado on the Weather Channel. She’s really shreddin’ things to shit. Great twisted trees, new cars, old homes, all tossed in the craziest salad you ever seen. She’s doin’ it with relish, too. Diggin’ her windy fingers in and rending the world. She's passionate about her work. So I’m just really gettin’ settled in to watch-- got m’beer-- when my nephew comes running in from outside hollering his fool head off “Holy Smokes! Uncle, we got a full-blown multi-vortex tornado comin’ this way! “
“I know, “ I says “Cain’tcha see I’m watchin’ it on the tv right here?”
“Well shouldn’t we do something, Unc? Lets get to the cellar!” He’s all worked up.
“Cellar washed out in that flood two years ago. Now if yer just gonna stand there dancin’ like a kid that has to pee, make yourself useful’n get some popcorn.” I say.
He picks his jaw up off the floor after a couple a seconds n’ runs into the parlor hollerin' something about open windows and sturdy doorways. He’s got himself all confused between tornadoes and earthquakes now. Not the hottest coal on the fire. Cain’t believe he doesn’t remember the flood. He spent 35 minutes runnin’ around with a straw tryin’ to convince us to drink our way to safety.
Course, if he’da taken that tornado prep’ration class with me, he might have a cooler head. Learnt me quite a bit about tornadoes. Includin’ what to do if they decide to drop by uninvited. This here old girl shows up on my front door, we’re gonna have words. And maybe a dance, if I’m lucky. Fer now though, I’ll just set here’n watch her. Learn her nature. Get a handle on her ways.
Yep, that was a heck of a class.
Whoops. There goes the Wilson’s Harvester. She's greedy. Where’s that damn nephew of mine with the popcorn?
Ok, that's it for the weird stuff this week. Back to the good family stuff soon. Thanks for indulging me