Via the title, who was hoping this was going to be an admission of my alcoholism slash substance abuse? I know I was. No such luck. I will never admit it. For one thing, I can stop anytime. For another, I love drinking Jagermeister out of my daughter's tea set. Stop. Swig Samuel Smith Nut Brown Ale. Continue . . .
The fact is, when I drink A Beer like I am tonight, it's such a rare occurrence that I feel like an alcoholic. And then I take a big hit of crack and the feeling goes away.
What the title refers to, actually, is the way I walk. I have tiny, tiny, legs. And over 5 feet of torso.
Sorry. What happened today was, I signed up for classes at the local Community College. I am starting the pre-reqs I need to get into the RN program. Why do I think I'm qualified to have such an honorable, responsible type job? Probably, it's the all the Jager.
I'm going to take the pre-reqs one or two at a time and then in a couple years I'll start going full time when I get into the nursing program. Notice I said "when" and not "if?" That's called bravado and I'm I'm full of it to the gills.
I'm nervous. I'm not a great math student and there is plenty of math. Once in high school geometry I was figuring out the area of a triangle and I ended up sending the entire class back 5 years in time. We caught a premier showing of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.
I'm starting out with Fundamentals of Algebra. I imagine it as algebra taught by a big guy named Vinny who wears nylon shorts and says things like, "Hey! Ya gotta solve fuh ex ovah heah." I'm probably right.
The other thing that makes me nervous is the bureaucracy. It's pretty intense. I've stumbled over it once already. I think it's probably worse at a CC than a private 4 year college because you're not writing them a check big enough to make them give a shit.
My wife came and held my hand today as I registered and made sure I made it through. She's cooler than everybody.
So, here I go. Class starts June 8th. I will post all my funniest wrong equation solutions.
You guys: "What? 2Y? HA! Ponce. "
The whole "dealing with bodily fluids, sudden stress and life or death situations" is the one aspect that is not bothering me right now. Sounds a lot like food service. I was good at that.