First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Monday, May 17, 2010

Baby Steps/One Day at A time.

Via the title, who was hoping this was going to be an admission of my alcoholism slash substance abuse?  I know I was.  No such luck.  I will never admit it.  For one thing, I can stop anytime. For another, I love drinking Jagermeister out of my daughter's tea set.  Stop.  Swig Samuel Smith Nut Brown Ale.  Continue . . .

The fact is, when I drink A Beer like I am tonight, it's such a rare occurrence that I feel like an alcoholic.  And then I take a big hit of crack and the feeling goes away.

What the title refers to, actually, is the way I walk.  I have tiny, tiny, legs.  And over 5 feet of torso.

Sorry.  What happened today was, I signed up for classes at the local Community College.  I am starting the pre-reqs I need to get into the RN program.  Why do I think I'm qualified to have such an honorable, responsible type job?  Probably, it's the all the Jager.  

I'm going to take the pre-reqs one or two at a time and then in a couple years I'll start going full time when I get into the nursing program.    Notice I said "when" and not "if?"  That's called bravado and I'm I'm full of it to the gills.

I'm nervous.  I'm not a great math student and there is plenty of math.  Once in high school geometry I was figuring out the area of a triangle and I ended up sending the entire class back 5 years in time.  We caught a premier showing of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo.

I'm starting out with Fundamentals of Algebra.  I imagine it as algebra taught by a big guy named Vinny who wears nylon shorts and says things like, "Hey!  Ya gotta solve fuh ex ovah heah."  I'm probably right.

The other thing that makes me nervous is the bureaucracy.  It's pretty intense.  I've stumbled over it once already.  I think it's probably worse at a CC than a private 4 year college because you're not writing them a check big enough to make them give a shit.

My wife came and held my hand today as I registered and made sure I made it through.  She's cooler than everybody.

So, here I go.  Class starts June 8th.  I will post all my funniest wrong equation solutions.

You guys:  "What?  2Y? HA!  Ponce. "


The whole "dealing with bodily fluids, sudden stress and life or death situations" is the one aspect that is not bothering me right now.   Sounds a lot like food service.  I was good at that.


Beerily,

Homemaker Man

19 comments:

  1. Congratulations and good luck!

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  2. Congrats! And thanks for the flashback... I hate to admit I might still have some neon scissor-cut tee shirts hiding somewhere in the back of my closet. I'll be prepped and stylin' when that comes back!

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  3. It's all about baby steps. Good luck to you paper plate headed man :-)

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  4. Uh oh, turns out you're also bad at history. There is no way that the Breakin' series came out 20-something years before you were in high school. Sorry to pee on your joke. love.

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  5. June 8th? But that is when I get done work?? You'd still better come visit me!!!!

    Good luck!!!!

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  6. Awesome! I'm thinking about taking some writing courses at the University this fall. (They are free to people 66 and over.)

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  7. "dealing with bodily fluids, sudden stress and life or death situations" ... that's parenting in a nutshell.

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  8. Good for you!! I love Your wife's comment, too. ALso - I fear once you start you and Candice will start having blog wars about nursing.... that could be entertaining, though as well. Good luck!

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  9. Sweet. I'm taking photography classes so that I can "retire" and get the fuck out of the nursing field! WHOO HOO!!

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  10. Oh, and by the way...

    GOOD LUCK!! You can definitely do it. :)

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  11. Well my hubs just got done with school after going back at a "more mature" age. It's worth it... Maybe since he hasn't gotten a job, yet.

    Good Luck!

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  12. Congrats and good luck! The first step is admitting you suck at math.

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  13. Congrats! You'll do fine! GOOD LUCK!!!!!

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  14. Good for you. The math is do-able. I am a recovering math-o-phobe and I have learned a bit since leaving school. It helped me when it clicked that math is a way of describing the world. Then it kind of meshed with my more artsy-fartsy mind.

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  15. You had me BEFORE Breakin' 2. But you sealed the deal with it. One of the very rare sequels that was better than the original. Now what was the rest of your post about again?

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  16. Congrats. Copious amounts of alcohol never derailed my college dreams so drink on and conquer math.

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  17. Way to go! You're a better man than I am. I have enough trouble with the bodily fluids in my own home. My husband is fire chief/EMT/ firefighter and is used to scrapping people off the ground and cleaning up body parts, but you know what? They guy gets grossed out when he has to change a poopy diaper.

    Good luck. I know I'm always smarter when I'm drinking heavily.

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