I'm pretty sure the cat puked it to death. She's been sleeping on and puking in the thing for two years. How do you clean cat puke out of the tiny vent holes of a cable box? You don't. I'm going to write an angry letter to the company.
Dear Cable people. You send a cable box into an American home and it's not able to with stand two years of cat puke? You should be ashamed, sirs. Ashamed. 'Twas once a time when cat puke was a lubricant for the engine of economic growth in our country and not a hindrance. Cat puke is the very foundation upon which the electronics industry was built, would not a cat puke catchall be a common sense feature to add etc etc.
Speaking of letters written . . .
A couple of days ago, I wrote a letter to a venerable local news television magazine because they hate dads.* That sounds harsh. They hate fathers*. Better.
They ignored fathers anyway. On a half hour show with "parenting" in the title, they spent approx. 5 minutes doing empty dad talk. So I wrote them a testy, snippy letter which absolutely screamed "shred me" to the bored faceless intern who first read it.
However, I received two responses. One was faceless yet gracious. And one was from one of the two broadcasters who appear on the show. Mr. Ted Reinstein. His partner--and lead anchor-- Anthony Everett has yet to reply. I'm guessing because of Anti-Semitism.* Or maybe because who the hell has the time to read some shitty letter that the fucking faceless intern who is now fired should've shredded in the first place. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn't Anti-Semitism (had my fingers crossed!)
Mr. Ted Reinstein was pretty amicable. For the most part. I myself think I detect a note of defensiveness in the letter (not being sarcastic) but I will let you judge. Also, I've yet to write back to Mr. Ted Reinstein, so any suggestions are welcome. If anyone wants to read it, I'll post the letter I wrote at the end to dispense with the bothersome clicking. Faceless intern letter first:
Thanks for your thoughts on our "Parenting" show last week.
I can well understand your frustration with the emphasis on "mom
types," but please understand, that premise grew largely out of our
choice to use Amy Chua's book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" as
our jumping off point. I think another show might well add in more of
a dads element; although dads were certainly represented in some of
last week's show as well (boomerang kids, etc.). But again, the "mom
types" segments were, just that--about moms this time.
For the record, while I may not be a stay-at-home dad, I am integrally
involved and engaged in all aspects of my childrens' lives, and don't relate
at all to some outdated "Father Knows Best"/50's notion of fatherhood.
Nonetheless, I will personally pitch for doing a follow-up show that focuses
more, or at least equally, on dads.
Again, thanks for taking the time to write.
*Not intended to be a factual statement.
*Neither was that
* Or that one, for G_d's sake.
Letter I originally wrote:
I am a fan. I have been for some time. I usually find your show well researched and thoughtful.
However . . . the episode on April 6th entitled "What kind of parent are you?" was an abject failure in that the part of parenting known as fatherhood was largely overlooked.
In a half hour show, you spent 20 minutes on mothers. You asked "What kind of parent are you?" and you answered that question by interviewing mothers. There were helicopter moms, best friend moms, and dolphin moms. There was a Tiger Mom. Psychiatrists, sociologists, and writers were interviewed about parenting but the word parenting was placed squarely in the context of motherhood.
The other ten minutes of the show--and I'm not counting commercial breaks--were split between a discussion of the trend of adult children moving back home and fatherhood talk.
The fatherhood talk consisted purely of your two broadcasters, Ted Reinstein and Anthony Everett, spending 3 minutes at the end of the show chatting about what fatherhood means to them. No experts, no filmed segments, no research. Just two guys tossing around cliches and platitudes like "(paraphrasing) sometimes you've got to be their best friend and other times a disciplinarian. I'd call it a benign dictatorship."
I'm sure the gentlemen in question are nice men and fine fathers, but their opinions as presented on the show were banal echoes of 1950's parenting archetypes. The segment came across as what it was: an empty, half-hearted, pandering attempt at "equal time." I looked at my wife at about the 15 minute mark of your show and I said, "You see this? It's going to be all moms." You did not disappoint me.
I am a stay at home dad. It was a choice my wife and I made while she was pregnant with our first child and it is a choice we're very proud of. There are millions like me now. If not stay at home dads, then dads that are just as committed to and involved in the parenting of their children as their wives are. We make decisions about food, education, safety, morals, religion, money and all the other infinite responsibilities that come with the title parent.
You attempted a discussion about parenting and instead gave us a 30 minute long reinforcement of parenting stereotypes.
Chronicle, you owe us an apology.
_________________, Father and Homemaker