We were looking at our recent vacation pics and there is a great one of the Pumpkin Man leaning in to kiss his baby cousin. Very sweet. He’s a sweet boy.
This picture is also notable because it highlights how large my son’s squash really is. His head was so much bigger than hers. You could fit a thousand of her heads inside his. If you put 60 of her heads into the P-Man’s head and it was transparent and you shook it, it would look like a snow globe.
I’ve mentioned his parade-float sized bean before, but I assume most people think I’m being hyperbolic.
I now have scientific proof:
At his last doctor’s appointment, the growth rate of his head had slowed considerably.
Our doctor said, “ Oh good.”
“Good?” my wife asked.
“Well,” said the doctor, “if it had continued at the same rate, I would’ve been concerned.”
. . . Concerned? The size of my son's keppe is concerning.
The Pumpkin Man’s head is so big, it barely averts disaster.
The medical community has weighed in on my son's head with a resounding, "Holy shit, an eclipse!"
I would be remiss if I didn’t add that my son is also devastatingly handsome.
Really a beautiful little boy.
More scientific proof? Fine.
Hypothesis: My son is very handsome.
Fact: The P-Man is constantly lauded by the general public for his good looks.
Fact: Movie stars are very handsome
Fact: The correlation between male movie-stars and large-headedness is well documented.
Conclusion: My son is very handsome. That’s science.
Shopping futilely for hats,
Homemaker Man
P.S. I would also be remiss if Ididn't mention that he takes after his daddy. It's just not as noticeable because of my massive chest and shoulders (gut).
P.P.S. I've been an irresponsible blogger. This I know. Catching up after vacation and being pulled in a lot of directions a once and so forth. I promise to do better.
Also, finally, I got an A in my Fundamentals of Algebra class . 4.00 GPA. Take that, imaginary people who said I couldn't do it.
Science! I love it when blogs involve scientific testing. And your methods are sound.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I stand impressed at the number of words you used to refer to your son's cranium.
Congrats on the A!
ReplyDeleteGreat work in algebra! Could come in handy if you have to measure your son's cranium. (or would that be geometry?)
ReplyDeleteI am a real people and I say congrats on your A!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your A, and the slowing growth of the Pumpkin Man's noggin. Moderation in all things is apparently good.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the A! If you want, you can pretend I said you wouldn't get it and sneered at you condescendingly. Now you can feel smug and throw it back in my face...
ReplyDeleteAnd congratulations on Pumpkin Man's massive head not getting as massive as it could have. That should be taken as a compliment...
I'm glad to hear from other people whose children have really giant melon heads. My boys do, as well, although they haven't been lauded by the medical community for their giganticism.
ReplyDeleteMy husband also has an enormous head.
I'm paralyzed by the many ways I want to go with that, so I'll close.
AACK! 4 of my five kids have enormous heads. My daughter's head was in the 103rd percentile when she was a baby. Who knew percentiles went above 100???? My husband used to call her bucket head, until we decided that might not be so good for her sense of self. My sarcastic family sits around and marvels at the size of my kids' heads.
ReplyDeleteI just nod, knowingly, and say: "I am intimately familiar with how large their heads are." This shuts them up.
Congratulations on your A in Algebra! That is not easy, so way to go (I detest algebra. Detest it).
ReplyDeleteAnd congratulations on Pumpkin's HUGE noggin. Maybe there's a super huge brain in there too
Ha! Proof positive that we've never met. I'd remember a gigundo head sitting atop a massive chest/shoulders/gut!
ReplyDeleteMy brother's head is huge. It's like having a life-size bobble-head around. Too bad he doesn't look like anyone famous. He could join a circus.
Nice job on the A and 4.0 GPS/GPA.
My boy has a huge dome too. It just means there's an exceptionally large brain growing in there.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt needs to be huge to fit the enormous brain he is packing, right?
ReplyDeleteI knew it.
I thought when you said a big head you meant ... ah, never mind.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the A. Will you have study hours available where I can post confusing third grade math problems? School's about to start, and my kid's homework is woefully confusing to me.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had read this when you first wrote it. This is really funny. Did you suffer any backlash from the Mrs.? I have made comments about the size of my little one's melon and my wife doesn't find it as funny as I do.
ReplyDelete