Oooh, Push My Button. Make Me Giggle'nSquirm

Is that as unappealing as I think it is?  Possibly so unappealing that it's actually appealing?  Like Hot Pockets?

You know you don't want to so bad that you kind of want to.  So go ahead.  Click it.



Click the button and vote for grant money to cure Juvenile Myositis.  You don't know what Juvenile Myositis is?  Then click that button and start getting educated, ya maroon.  You'll have to sign up, but it's a quick sign-up process and it's totally spam-free.

Then, you can go around all day feeling holier-than-thou and lording it over people and saying things like, "I'm busy helping to cure JM.  You don't know what JM is?  Wow, I feel sorry for you."

Because really, the only thing almost as good as helping kids in need is making other people feel like crap for not doing so.  Click the button, gain your privilege.  One full day of unassailable self-righteousness.  From me to you.  It's really, really fun.  I've been acting out everywhere today. My neighbor just threw a tire iron at me.

I ran (far) away and yelled, "hey, instead of throwing a tire iron at me, why don't you throw one at JM by pushing my button?"  He's calling the police.

So go ahead.  Push it.  Do this nice family plus thousands of others a solid today.  Do it.  Please.  For your own good.  You don't want me coming over to your house and shaking my head and saying things like "I guess the rarest gem of all is a gem called Compassion."  Or, "I understand, you're  busy tweeting about your sandwich."

Neither of us need that.  You don't need the annoyance, and I don't need the injuries.

So go ahead, click the button.  Make me giggle.