First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Jumpin' Jesus it's time for school

Well, we got the news today.  Our three year-old daughter is starting school in the fall.  Bryn Mawr.  "American Studies" major, whatever that means.  Either that or pre-school, I can't remember.  Because i've blocked it out.  This is simultaneously so exciting and so terrifying.

I know.  Many of you are saying, "What's the big deal," or "get over it all ready," or "big whoop."  Hopefully you're all thinking the last one because I like to imagine you all as having the vocabulary and emotional maturity of 6th graders.  Then we're at the same level.  

But for us, it's a big step.  She's never been away from us in that sort of environment before.  That sort of savage, winners talk-losers walk, biggest kid gets the Curious George doll environment.  And she's such a tiny Peanut.  

I'm handling it pretty well, overall, I think.  I'm drinking whiskey from a coffee mug(it's black and big it has the white silhouettes of a moose and some pine trees, and it says "Maine, The Way Life Should Be" on it.  Which makes it a perfect vehicle for anxiety/celebratory based drinking, I think.),  listening to Salsa music, and cleaning the house at 11 pm.   I've got it together.  

Get this.  We even know the teacher.  Pretty well, too.  She's the long-time, live-in, significant other of my wife's cousin.  They were over for dinner two weeks ago.  We wrote a letter to the school principal to make sure our daughter got into her class.  My wife the High School English teacher wrote it.  She used all kinds of educator lingo in it.  The gist of the message being "My daughter gets in this specific class, or I come down there and twist off your intellectual nuts."  Have I mentioned I love her? 

The woman who teaches the class is great.  She gives homework!  Thrice (I said it) a week.  By the end of the year, she expects her students to write their name, know their address and phone number, and be able to do some reading.  

I had to quit reading the toddler milestones online because I freak out a little if my kids aren't meeting all of them or surpassing one or two.  Imagine my reaction to the above expectations.  Actually don't, here's a brief synopsis:  In the last two weeks, the Peanut has learned her address and to write the shortened version of her name.  The reading and spelling we've been working on for awhile.  I am such a broken motherfucker.  

Honestly, we don't have a lot of money, so the one leg-up we can give our kids in this crazy, mixed-up world is an education.  And good looks.   The latter in spades.  

But, I know.  I over-react. 

Alright-y.  That was a long, mildly soused post.  I hope you all appreciate it.  And by "appreciate it" I mean "forgive me."

With highest regards,

Homemaker Man

Oh yeah.  Don't forget to vote.  They're still in fourth place.  Let's help'em bring it home. 


  1. With those kind of educational goals for preschool, she's bound to be able to help with your homework by the start of the second quarter. You know what that means! More time for cleaning and whatnot, and we all know the whatnot's worth it. Well, preschoolers don't know that yet. They don't teach that stuff until second semester.

  2. My fifth kid is starting preschool in a few weeks. I'm just as big of a mush-ball as I was the first time around. Totally get it.

    Although with her, I'm also a little concerned that she'll get tossed out for biting and ruin my parenting rep with the teachers, who all think the first four were angels. She's a biter. She's mean. It could happen. Just be glad she's not going to preschool with the Peanut.

  3. That's some serious homework for a 3yo. Don't sweat it man, the Peanut will do just fine.

  4. Awww....that's so cute. Peanut's going to school and Dad's a basket case! She'll be fine!

  5. I go nuts every time I hear about schools expecting 3 or 4 year-olds to read. Nuts.

    Tell them that is child abuse. Tell them you are sending your child to preschool to color and have fun and learn to stand in line and to give yourself a break for a few hours, not to meet their ridiculously high expectations.

    Teacher! Leave those kids alone!

  6. When I took our daughter to pre-school on her first day, I thought, "How will she survive without me all day? How will I survive without HER?" As soon as we got there, she was off and running, and didn't look back. So she was great.

    I went home and felt abandoned and betrayed. But that passed as soon as I picked her up and she excitedly told me all about her day.

    You're about to start a really awesome stage. It'll be great, and you'll be amazed at what your daughter's brain absorbs.

  7. She's gonna love it! The littlest ones always get special attention. You just watch. She'll be everyone's little pet in no time.

    You, on the other hand, need to back away from the MM and get some Ketel. The kids'll never know you're half in the bag.

  8. The best thing about you? That you love your wife and say so. Blessings to you all.

  9. It's natural to worry, but she's going to be just fine.

    By week 2 you'll be enjoying the hell out of your semi-alone time. Trust me.

  10. School terrifies me as well, but I've still got three more years until I throw my boy to the wolves.

  11. The salsa music is what really completes this picture.

  12. Intellectual nuts in a twist. OOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

  13. J just started a new Preschool. Out of the hands of his little home daycare and into the scary world of a Preschool Center, ack. We are both having a rough go of it, but they keep telling me it gets easier. Funny thing is, this is a PreK program and they are doing more playing then learning and way less structure then his home daycare. It's too soon to tell if that's a good thing or bad.


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