First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

This Image, well, now you're stuck with it too.

We got a little potty training going on here. Just the first yellow trickles in what promises to be the thawing of the Great Diaper Winter that has been our lives for 3 + years.

The Pumpkin Man is on his way, pee-pee style. Lawdy dawdy, we likes to potty.

I mention this only to give context to the brief scene I'm about to portray, one in which the Pman spends the entire time sans diaper. And also because I'm proud of him. Ok

So, after spending some time on the potty, doing the deed, and being lauded for it like he just saved a life, he pops off and toddles over to where the Dora rug rests nearby on the playroom floor. As I've mentioned before, he's got a pretty sick thing for Dora.

He walks on to the rug, plops his naked nude parts on Dora's face and lays down on his back. He has positioned himself--incidentally, one hopes fruitlessly-- so that his dingle is dangling just millimeters above Dora's smiling face.

He then starts opening and closing his legs so that her face dis and re-appears every half second or so and to his movement he adds a cheery "Hello! Goodbye. Hello! Goodbye. Hello . . . "

I think maybe the worst part about it is that he still had his shirt on.

Dora says "he's harmless" I told her to get a restraining order, fast. I'll testify against him.


This is a second hand story. I was in the kitchen while my was witnessing this. I am lucky.


  1. I have my hand slapped across my mouth to prevent the comments from flying out!

    (no really, I am...)

  3. The Pumpkin Man strikes again- you gotta love him!

  4. Hey, some kids are more....developed than others...... =p

  5. Now I can finally go to work. My coworkers are used to me spontaneously erupting in laughter for no apparent reason. This'll do me for the week.

    P-Man, I was precocious too. Oops, TMI?

  6. OH, this guy is going to be trouble when he gets older! The girls better watch out!

  7. Awesome tale!

    Oh and Dora has a lawsuit on your kid by the way. Lawyer up!

  8. Don't let her fool you. I bet she was still smiling when it was all done. At least Pman is creative.

  9. HAHAHAHA! i actually dont know what to say, but that image is def. one for you to tell the gf in about 10 years!

  10. There's a time and a place for that kind of activity around the damn Blueberry Mountain Dora's always searching for (at least when we were of Dora watching age around here), and I assure you, that place can't be found on Dora's map.


  11. Dora, P-Man? Really? Someone's got his beer goggles on.

  12. I'm trying my hand at this replying on the blog thing because some of the newer people--hi newer people! It's nice to meet you.--are no reply via email people.

    @MC. Please, let'em fly.

    @Monica Yes yes, he is very amusing.

    @jen I believe you and I appreciate it!

    @Linda I know I do. By Law

    @Catherine Ws that a whang loke?

    @Cheryl Tell them you're laughing at a baby penis and a latina girl. Report back to me.

    @EG You think I don't worrry about that already? He's a handsome sonofabitch, too.

    @Pearl That's what she said!

    @Candice- Si

    @Brahm. Than you. The 1st of many, probably.

    @James She was, in a frozen in horror sort of way. Hopefully that creativity finds a more socially acceptable outlet.

    @AHAU You ain't the 1st, brutha!

    @Constar 10 years? Try 15.

    @FADKOG nor is it immediately post toilet in the middle of the playroom in front of the entire family.

    @DiPi Another solid explanation for the lack of pants

  13. Too bad you didn't get it recorded so you could haunt him with it in 20 years!

  14. Had a similar such instance only it was my toddler daugher busting ass nude on my preschooler son's pillow. He was not pleased...

  15. I most heartily agree that the worst part of the whole thing is that he still had his shirt on. I hate it when a half naked man runs around with just a shirt on !!! Or lays on a carpet and plays hello good-bye... Ok, that part was hysterical.


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