First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Test Taken

So I took my college placement test today and I got the results virtually instantly.  The tests are done on the computer and then they are graded immediately by a thousand tiny, ultra-competent teachers with one tattered answer key between them.  Or they are graded by the computer.  I'm not very big on the techie stuff.

Before going to the test today I looked at some sample questions and took a practice test for the math.  All while my 2.5 (that's a decimal!) year old yelled, "daddy, look at this, look at this daddy.  Daddy, LOOK at THIS."

Great, sunglasses.  You're a genius.  Now let daddy get back to relearning long division.

Ok, short division.

Multiplication tables.  Shut up.

The practice test was useful because for the answers I got wrong it provided links to info that would help.  Links like www.mass.edu/the answer is 7, asshole.  The fucking answer is 7.  .com.

When you take the actual test, it's interesting because the questions get harder or easier based on whether or not you got the previous one correct.  So, on the algebra section for example, I would see a question (multiple choice) like:

                                                                                     2x-3x(y-2xy)
                                                                                     -----------------
                                                                                              1/3x                        

And then the next one would say:

                                                                     2+2=x.   If x is the value 4.

 So, yeah.  I aced it.


Actually, I did much better than I thought I would.  I got into the second highest beginning math class, fundamentals of algebra.  Not glamorous, but at least I don't have to pay for a non-credit course.  Also, fairly surprising because about half way or so through the Algebra portion I just said fuck it and started guessing.  The magic of standardized testing.

And in English, I actually tested out of all but the highest class, which I was told I can attempt to test out of if I am willing to pay for the test.  It's like gambling, but I'll probably end up giving it a shot.  I love English and writing, but please.  I think the quality of this blog speaks for itself.  I think if my blog could talk it would probably say something like "please, somebody help me, he's a fucking lunatic.  And he likes puns.  Please.  He can't even type.  help me. "  


So now I can spend my time reading Nursing blogs and getting completely freaked out.  I am not that competent.  

Maybe if I can find a mellow specialty to work in, I'll be ok.  Maybe a Nurse Shark.  Wait a sec, let me get my Wiki on . . .

So they weigh about 330 lbs, are shallow-water, bottom dwellers, like to eat crab and shrimp, have few interactions with humans and are not perceived as a threat.  I  think I found my calling.

Last thing.  A shout out to Viv at A Proud Mom To Many.  She just put up her 200th post.   I just bloggy met her a few weeks ago, but she is a bright, kind, overworked, brave, bloggy buddy.  Congrats Viv.

Tomorrow's big adventure?  Waiting in line for H1N1 shots.  It's going to be like waiting in line for the world's worst 6 Flags ride.  "Hey kids, hold on, we're almost there.  Aaallllmost.  We made it!!  Now roll up your sleeves, suckers.

Matriculatingly yours,

Homemaker Man





7 comments:

  1. You're sweet Homemaker Man, thanks for the shout out.

    Good job with the placement test. I'm impressed, but not surprised, you apparently don't hear your blog say the same things that we the readers do. ;)

    I'm glad that you *met* Tanya. Her husband is on the same path you're on, a little further along though, I think.

    Careful with those big words, you don't want to be accused of pedantry. I myself never use a big, fancy word, when a diminutive one will do.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pedantry? That is gross. I would never EVER even think of doing that to a child. I'm shocked. Honestly (head shaking).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lol. How did I *know* you would go there?

    ReplyDelete
  4. You're wanting to delve into nursing, eh?

    Muuuah haaaa haaa haaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good Job! Glad you did better then expected. So you are going to try to test out of English, right?!? Why waste your time if you don't have to, unless you need to have it for your degree. Oh and talk to a nursing counselor, they will set you on the right path and make sure you don't take any unnecessary classes. At my husbands school several of the AA requirements are met in the nursing program. Fundamentals of Algebra sounds like a theory class. Can't they just say Algebra I? That is what it is, right?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you. I think I will try to test out of English. I just don't want to write any term papers. Thanks for the tip on the counselor. It might be pre-algebra, I don't actually know yet.

    ReplyDelete

Blog Rankings

Humor Blogs - Blog Rankings