I know this because I dated a lobster in high school. I found out when I tried to get to third base, and there wasn't one. We tried other stuff, but take it from me; there is nothing fun about a "claw-job."
She dumped me after about three months. I was upset. I got over it with a marathon visit to Legal Seafood. I don't handle rejection well.
The lobster? She became valedictorian. Her speech was titled "Lobster Civil rights in the 21st century: Butter: Enemy Mine."
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Science fact
Lobsters have swimmerets. Small paired abdominal appendages that help with swimming and reproduction. And they carry and fertilize their eggs externally on these swimmerets.
This is a swimmeret:
I'll admit, it might look vaguely vaginal. Like the maw of virtually every science fiction movie monster ever. But trust me, it's not.
Helpfully,
Homemaker Man
Thanks for the claw job warning, man, b/c My Love's out of town and ...
ReplyDeleteYou should be locked in a room somewhere with Tina Fey writing tv scripts. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteLooks like I was right when I said you were kinky... Although I had no idea of the sick scale you were operating on. Well done sir!
ReplyDelete"I'll admit, it might look vaguely vaginal. Like the maw of virtually every science fiction movie monster ever."
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAO over that gem! :p
You totally crack me up again! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDelete:) ha ha.. :)
ReplyDeleteooooooooh nice swimmerets!
ReplyDeleteWell, at least I'll be able to sleep at nights and not worry about the female/male lobster reproductive cycle!
ReplyDeleteHummmm.
Funny stuff. "Claw job" had me chuckling.
ReplyDeleteAHAU- If you really need to, go with the soft shell crab.
ReplyDeleteSL-. Yeah, To The Death!
PB- Don't be coy. They don't call you the Mollusk for nothing.
Viv! - Viv!
E.G.- Makes me smile to make you laugh, E
Brittany-Good to hear from you!
Peg- Thanks. I had'em done in '02
Alice- Really, that was my main aim with this post. Education.
Chris- You wouldn't if you really had any idea . . .
And you were worried about reviewing products? HA!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the education on Lobster "trap".
ReplyDeleteI totally get it now.
awwhaha!!! Okay, if you are scrolling down to get to an earlier post and are not yet reading the post where these pics are attached to it just looks gross! Like some scary yellowish person with milk poured all over there torso.
ReplyDeleteButter: Enemy Mine.
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty damn funny, sir. Thank you.