First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Friday, February 25, 2011


The Peanut is a princess. Ask her, she'll tell you. Don't ask her and she'll tell you. And if you try to tell her she's not a princess, well, I hope you're prepared for the cutest little "go fuck yourself" face you've ever seen.  My little perfect princess, face twisted in rage. Awwww.

She loves to wear dresses and tiaras and throw semi- benevolent tea parties for her subjects. Sometimes she's Princess Peanut; other times she's Cinderella. She's never seen the movie or heard the story, mind you.

She is the only princess in the house, too. The. Only. Princess. She's the Princess. Mommy is the Queen, I'm the King, and the Pman is the Prince. Any attempt to violate these rules is met with extreme prejudice. She practically morphs into a vampire. Fangs dripping with sparkly pink fury. The air awash with consternation and glitter

"Daddy, I'm the Princess and you're the King."

"Let's both be princesses."

"No daddy, you're the King, I'm the Princess."

"Can't I be a princess too?"

"No daddy! You can't! You're the King. I'm the Princess."

"Ok, I'm the King. I'll be the King of Princesses."

"NO DADDY! You can't! You're a boy and I. AM. PRINCESS!" (Princess of the Kingdom of Uptightville, apparently.)

At this point, her cheeks are pink with frustration and her voice has taken on the timber of a highly agitated wild cat. Princess Peanut: Gender Cop.

Until recently. Recently, their has been a small change of heart where one member of our household is concerned. Recently, the Pman has managed to schmooz his charming ass into the princess game. He looks lovely in her dresses. And shoes. And tiaras. Resplendent in gauzy pinks, royal purples, and flashy greens.

He copies everything she does. Spins to show us the dress. Calls himself Princess Pumpkin Man. He is a pretty little thing, too. Although, there is still something about him that says "boy." Little big-headed, round-bellied spark plug that he is.

After some initial violence, the Peanut is loving it. I walked into the playroom the other day to find her frustrated and him crying. Not because she was trying to rip the dress from his body or pummel him with the plastic tiara that is her royal birthright.  No. The melee was due to the fact that for five minutes she had been trying to jam her white sandals with the flowers on top on to the Pman's feet. So he could have pretty princess shoes.

Now, my kingdom has not one, but two princesses to call it's own.  The traditional gender roles have been torn asunder. Let the commoners rejoice!

It's good to be the King.


  1. Princess Pumpkin Man? How cute is that?

  2. Pumpkin Man's feet are too big? Darn good thing the Princess hasn't heard the Cinderella story, or you would need to hide the knives!

  3. Gender neutral Princessi! What an awesome concept. I can't believe you're poking that little bumble bee with a stick.

  4. That is too cute. Princess Peanut and Princess Pumpkin Man! I love it.

  5. "Princess Peanut: Gender Cop" = hilarious.

  6. I'm usually anti-princess, although I know that it's inevitable that my girls will be sucked into the princess vortex. But a boy princess--that's something I can support.

  7. Admit it, you really want to be the Queen, don't you?

  8. @MD It's pretty cute.

    @linda Not to mention her attempts to turn him in to a carriage

    @Cheryl I believe it's my responsibility to question gender stereotypes wherever we encounter them. Plus, it's fun.

    @Eva You shoud se it when they bear hug each other and start dancing.

    @dbs Hilarious until you're the one on the other end of a pink tinted Maglite

    @BD I am too, but I was powerless against it. At least now I feel the scales have been balanced.

    @Chris. What do you mean "want to be?"

  9. He'll need his very own princess shoes now!

  10. whahaha...
    I know some people from Uptightville too!
    Really need to get visa to enter that country!

  11. My youngest, a boy, used to declare himself a princess. It was the sweetest thing ever and I was ready to squash anyone who told him otherwise.

  12. Wicked cute! My son won't even walk past a pink aisle at toys r us :-/


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