First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Monday, February 28, 2011

More talk about Gender/Really Great Moments in Parenting

Some facts:
The Fresh Beat band is a show.
A horrible, horrible show. The leads are two boys named Twist and Shout, and 2 girls named Kiki and Marina. 
Benny the Bull and Swiper are characters on Dora. 
The Peanut can be bossy.

Scene: Tonight in the Car

Peanut: I'm Dora and you're Swiper

Pman: I'm swiper

Me: I'm Twist

Peanut: You're Benny

Me: You be Benny. I'm Twist

Pnut: You can't be Twist.

Me: I'm Kiki

Pnut: You can't be Kiki. You're a boy.

Me: I want to be Kiki.

Pnut: No, Kiki's a girl!

My wife: You told him he couldn't be Twist

Pnut: You can't be Kiki.

Me: I'm Mrs. Garret

Pnut: No, you can't be Mrs. Garret, you're not a girl!

Me: You don't even know Mrs. Garret. I'm Mrs. Garret, you're Jo, Pman is Blair, aaand Mommy is Tootie.

Pnut: No!

Me: I'm Ralph Furley, you're Larry, Mommy is Jack, and Pman is Crissy.

Pnut: No!

My Wife: I want to be Janet. I'm a girl

Me: I'm Captain Stubing, Mommy is Isaac, you're Julie, and Pman is Doc.

We also went through Fantasy Island. (I'm Mr Rourke, You're Tatoo, mommy is the person who faces their absolute worst nightmare, the Pumpkin man is the one who's there just to get laid.) 

And then . . . .

Me: I'm Hannibal, Mommy is Face, you're B.A. Baracas, and Pman is Murdock, the crazy one.

Pnut: B.A. Baracus?

Me: You say, " (Mr. T impression) I pity da fool !

Pumpkin Man; (Tiny Mr T Rasp) Ahm BA Ahracus, I pity Da Fool!

Pnut: (Also doing her best impression) I pity da fool!

Pman: Ahm Ba Brracus, I pity da fool

Pnut Can I pity Da Fool?

Pman: (Matter of factly) No. You listen, I pity Da fool.

Pnut: I don't want to listen. I want to pity da fool!

Pman: I pity da fool!

Pnut: No. I pity da fool!

Pman: I pity da fool!

Pnut: I pity da fool!

Me: There are plenty of fools to go around. 

Top 5 parenting moment. I will be expecting my dad of the year nomination phone call. 


  1. How fun! You are a good dad. (and mommy is too.) Playing with the kids is the best. Bless you.

  2. "Mrs. Garret" = hilarious. One time I was playing with my kids and exhausted, in the middle of it, I fell asleep. Later, I woke startled when one of my kids hit me over the head with a cookie sheet.
    If only I had thought of your ingenious method of infusing play with adult references. I think this would be a great short film.

  3. How on earth could you have left out, "I'm Fonzie, Mom is Mrs. C, Pnut is Richie, and you can be Joanie."?

  4. I'm impressed (?) that you were able to reel off all those characters like that. And I can just hear the pity da fool duel.

  5. That was so funny and cute. Pity da fool!

  6. OMG, I can only imagine choking back the laughter as this went on.

    And yeah, Fresh Beat Band is awful. DQ is usually Marina and insists that it's 'Pinky', not KiKi as Kiki is a witch with a cat and a friend named Tombo. Obviously.

  7. You picked Farley over Mr. Roper? What's that all about? I pity you, foo!

  8. @MC IT is fun, thank you.

    @dbs ah, the times I've been awoken with a shot to the head. I think a montage of that would make a great short film.

    @Viv Careful Viv. You've never seen Pman get his Diva on

    @Chris I had to stop somewhere

    @linda Yeah. 80's Trivia. Always questionable

    @Eva ooh. Good impression!

    @Dawn. Hi. YEah, that show is just . . . you ever get the feeling that behind the scenes Twist is always trying to nail kiki and/or Marina

    @James It's all about the wardrobe.

  9. I think I slept through all the worst shows of the 80s. Still sleeping through anything resembling a kid's show.

  10. You're my parenting inspiration (well you when be when I have children, today I will harass my dog shouting, "I pity da fool!")

  11. You are the inspiration my neices need who want to have a carrier and marry some one who can share their responsibilities without a fuss.

  12. I'm soooooo, sooooo grateful, my 7-yr-old son is too old to "appreciate" the Fresh Beat Band show.

    I've suffered enough from his shows and it finally stopped (well except when I get roped into iCarly).

    There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.


  13. "There are plenty of fools to go around."

    Those are words to live by.

    If you do Gilligan's Island I get to be the Professor.


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