We bought some frosted flakes for the kids. Doctor’s orders. They need a small sweet starch to combat their Vomitosis (possibly an actual medical term? Like, what you call it when you get bad breath from puking a lot. Vomitosis).
They’ve never had frosted flakes, so I bought the store brand. There is a polar bear on the box. They won’t eat them. No one is eating them. I forgot my wife told me to pick something I would eat. We had this conversation in the car yesterday morning:
Me: No one is eating those frosted flakes.
Her: They don’t like them?
Me: I’m not eating them either. No one is eating them.
Her: Why aren’t you eating them?
Me: Because they’re not the real Frosted Flakes.
Her: I told you to get something you would eat.
Me: Yeah but they’re not--
Her: You said you would--
Me: They have a bear on them. Bears can’t make frosted flakes. Tigers make frosted flakes. Bears do not make frosted flakes. That’s ridiculous. They can’t be good. And, it’s a polar bear! Might as well put a walrus on there.
Her: How do you know if you don’t taste them?
Me: They probably taste like stupid.
This is not to say that I don’t or won’t eat off brand cereal. Ate it all growing up. I think our version of Fruit Loops had a seagull on it. It might’ve been a vulture. Or a buzzard. Frooty Buzzard Hoops.
I did come home and eat a bowl. They tasted like penguins. Stupid polar bear. Stick to ice cream.
Also, a plea for help: My daughter has emerged from the chrysalis (no spell check!) of her sickness. Where once she was a lovely and potty-trained caterpillar, she is now an angry, shit covered butterfly. She’s regressed in her potty training.
Standing in living room : “(mildly) Daddy, I pooped. I've got poop in my underwear.”
And, her attitude has me considering volunteering her to the Iranian space program as a cheap alternative to monkeys. She apparently got a little spoiled during her illness.
Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this sort of attitude shift?
Thanks in advance,
HM
