Hi Everybody. I've been distracted.

Sorry I've had that last post up so long.  This one's going up now because my wife told me she was sick of looking at it.  Which is the same way she got rid of my beard.

We've been busy here in the heart of South Central (New England).  I started my first class.  Math.  I'm already stuck and frustrated.  On a homework question.  Half way through chapter three.  Of The Fundamentals of Algebra.  Impressive, I know.

I blame the teacher.  He refused to let me do my homework by giving it to him to do.  Very old school type.  Also, it's a morality thing.  Any equation where you can just pick any number and plug it in has to be bullshit.  Remind anyone of our financial system?  Only completely.  I won't be a party to criminal behavior like that.  Other types, I'm open to suggestions.

Add to that the alarming fact that the Pumpkin Man spiked a 103.5 fever over the weekend, and you get . . .well,  I don't know what you get because I'm stuck on a question in chapter 3 of the Fundafuckingmentals of Algebra.  I get frustrated and then obsessed and then I don't vacuum for 3 days and The Peanut has had that chocolate milk mustache for almost as long.  No, I bathe them.  Society is very judgmental and so is my wife.  Not really about my wife, too.

Where was I?  Sick kid.  The Pman woke up at 5:15 am saturday morning with the fever, we called the doctor, kept an eye on him for a while, gave him ibuprofen.  The doc called back a second time (our pediatrician is the shit) and advised we bring him in for a look.

Much to the Pumpkin Man's chagrin, that look at the doc's office turned into a catheterization.  That'll teach him.  Get sick on the weekend, you get a tube in the pee hole.

His fever was down on sunday and by today, he was back to his old, loud, rambling, hilarious self.  So anyone out there struggling with a sick toddler, I highly recommend the ol' tube in the pee hole cure.  Works every time.


Pulling things back together,

Homemaker Man

Test Taken

So I took my college placement test today and I got the results virtually instantly.  The tests are done on the computer and then they are graded immediately by a thousand tiny, ultra-competent teachers with one tattered answer key between them.  Or they are graded by the computer.  I'm not very big on the techie stuff.

Before going to the test today I looked at some sample questions and took a practice test for the math.  All while my 2.5 (that's a decimal!) year old yelled, "daddy, look at this, look at this daddy.  Daddy, LOOK at THIS."

Great, sunglasses.  You're a genius.  Now let daddy get back to relearning long division.

Ok, short division.

Multiplication tables.  Shut up.

The practice test was useful because for the answers I got wrong it provided links to info that would help.  Links like www.mass.edu/the answer is 7, asshole.  The fucking answer is 7.  .com.

When you take the actual test, it's interesting because the questions get harder or easier based on whether or not you got the previous one correct.  So, on the algebra section for example, I would see a question (multiple choice) like:

                                                                                     2x-3x(y-2xy)
                                                                                     -----------------
                                                                                              1/3x                        

And then the next one would say:

                                                                     2+2=x.   If x is the value 4.

 So, yeah.  I aced it.


Actually, I did much better than I thought I would.  I got into the second highest beginning math class, fundamentals of algebra.  Not glamorous, but at least I don't have to pay for a non-credit course.  Also, fairly surprising because about half way or so through the Algebra portion I just said fuck it and started guessing.  The magic of standardized testing.

And in English, I actually tested out of all but the highest class, which I was told I can attempt to test out of if I am willing to pay for the test.  It's like gambling, but I'll probably end up giving it a shot.  I love English and writing, but please.  I think the quality of this blog speaks for itself.  I think if my blog could talk it would probably say something like "please, somebody help me, he's a fucking lunatic.  And he likes puns.  Please.  He can't even type.  help me. "  


So now I can spend my time reading Nursing blogs and getting completely freaked out.  I am not that competent.  

Maybe if I can find a mellow specialty to work in, I'll be ok.  Maybe a Nurse Shark.  Wait a sec, let me get my Wiki on . . .

So they weigh about 330 lbs, are shallow-water, bottom dwellers, like to eat crab and shrimp, have few interactions with humans and are not perceived as a threat.  I  think I found my calling.

Last thing.  A shout out to Viv at A Proud Mom To Many.  She just put up her 200th post.   I just bloggy met her a few weeks ago, but she is a bright, kind, overworked, brave, bloggy buddy.  Congrats Viv.

Tomorrow's big adventure?  Waiting in line for H1N1 shots.  It's going to be like waiting in line for the world's worst 6 Flags ride.  "Hey kids, hold on, we're almost there.  Aaallllmost.  We made it!!  Now roll up your sleeves, suckers.

Matriculatingly yours,

Homemaker Man