First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Haiku Sunday/That New Dad Smell

I saw my brother-in law today.  He and his are expecting their first baby in February.  And he is READY.  He has been ready since he was about 12 years old.  Always wanted a wife and family.  They've been to all the classes, read books and websites, talked about discipline, etc.  And he has been considering his own personal parenting style for 20+years.  He is calm and prepared and completely screwed.

I think that's how most of us go into it, the parenting gig.  There are difficulties no amount of studying or considering can prepare you for and a depth of emotion that you just don't experience until you get there.

For my brother in-law,  I have this wish:

When we had our first baby, I was ready.  I was scared shitless, but ready in terms of wanting a child, having taken classes, financially, and so forth.  But that depth of feeling when you hold them in your arms the first time . . . for me it was light and heat that seared away everything that had happened in my life up to that point.  All I was left with was love for my family and Perspective.  True, Hi-def, blue-ray, colors you could hear, music you could see, perspective.  I finally knew what was important.

I always thought I knew before.  The arrogance that is afforded the unwise.  Let me say here that those without children are not unwise, nor do they have false perspectives.  This is me I'm talking about.  Aaannnyhizzle . . .

I thought I knew what was really important, or I think a better way to put it is, I thought I really knew what important felt like.  I thought the passion that I had for certain things, the righteous indignation I allowed my self at times, the personal indulgences, were all things that felt really important.  But then that baby came and I lost my breath and felt bare before a cold wind.  When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of  . . . you know, like that.

And the personality changes I went through are the material for a whole different post.  Let's just say I went from "go along to get along, everything's groovy" to "if you touch my baby I'll kill youohmygod what's that on her face?!"

So that is what I wish for my brother in-law.  That all consuming feeling.  Except for the part where I completely lost my mind for a bit.  I wish for him that burning new perspective.    The chance to experience love and commitment to his family on a whole other level.  The chance to be able to look back on his life from a whole new place.  To feel like a new man.  Perspective.  I love you brother-in law.  Now buckle in bitch, you are fucked.

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Haiku Sunday

Zamboni driving, snow shoveling and hockey games today.  That can only mean one thing:  Japanese Poetry.


Frozen whispers fall.
Everything is new again
Except my shovel

Frigid morning sun
no warmth, only light on ice
I'm calling in sick

This last one goes out to a specific character at the rink.  True story:

Steel plate in your head?
And you wear shorts in winter?
Steel plate in your head.

10 comments:

  1. Exactly. I think the new perspective is "It's Not All About You, Buddy - Duh!" I experienced it, also. It was sort of a relief.

    We have a new dad in our neighborhood - he's still looking gobsmacked after a whole month, and Larry and I laugh every time we see him.

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  2. Great words for your BIL. He has no idea what he's about to get into.

    *evil laugh*

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  3. It's obvious you really care :) You capture the change that happens after a child crash lands into your life perfectly :)

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  4. S.C.-it IS a relief. The clarity you're afforded. In a way it makes life easier. The whole what am I doing with my life question is pretty much answered.

    Candice-Thank you. You can't tell him either. it's just one of those things you have to do to get it.

    S.F.-Thank you.:) I do care. He's a great guy:)

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  5. My brother in law wears shorts all winter long.

    Isn't that the truth? You think you know, you think you're ready...then you have a child and the entire world gets a little clearer, way more confusing and a hellavu lot scarier.

    Thanks for following! :)

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  6. Off topic here: make sure you enable public access to your email address on your Blogger profile page - that way other Bloggers can reply directly to your comments. Otherwise we have to come all the way over here and leave nonsensical stuff in your comments:

    You're absolutely right - must make an example of that stove and keep the other appliances in line.

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  7. Thank you for the tip. I think I've got it.

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  8. And gwfihh-Ooops. So your BIL has a ste . . . never mind. Sorry.

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  9. Just wait until you're fucked six times over...

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