It's one o'clock Christmas morning. I still have a little cleaning to do. My perfect wife went off to bed about half an hour ago. We trimmed the tree tonight. It looks wicked pissah (for those who do not speak New England, that means nice.). Then we finished wrapping and assembling the gifts for the kids. Which is wild. I actually sat up late at night putting presents together for my own kids. So cool. I'm also finishing a bottle of Pinot Grigio. So tipsy.
A little trivia: Pinot Grigio is actually Italian for Pint of Grigio. No shit.
Something I love about my wife: She hates the movie A Christmas Story. Everyone else in the western world loves it and she could give a fuck. That's why my wife is cooler than yours. Go suck a dick, Ralphie.
Both kids had fevers yesterday and part of today. The Peanut was crabby. When I put her to bed, she first refused to put out cookies for Santa and then when I tucked her in and started talking all the Santa and Christmas tomorrow morning shit, she was like, "No! No sSnta. No Christmas."
Looks like when that fat bastard gets here I'm going to have to turn his red clad ass away.
"Ho ho ho, Merry Chri-
"Nope, sorry dude, we don't want any."
"But I have presents for Peanut and Pumpkin man."
"Listen man, we're all set. No Christmas here. Now fuck o- wait, what's that?'
"I'll take that. Now scram Kringle."
"But I have presents for the chil-
"Do I have to call the cops dude? I said beat it. "
I'll do what it takes to make my kids happy on Christmas. Even if it means taking out a restraining order on Ol' St. Nick.
I just wanted to write something here tonight because really what I wanted to say is that I am really glad I started blogging and to thank anyone who has ever read a post. I feel like I've made some friends, become part of a community, and read some really good stuff. So thanks everybody. I kinda love you guys. And of course, Merry Christmas. And shit.