First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Friday, December 4, 2009

Today I . . .

Vacuumed the house.  A couple of weeks ago I had to vacuum up a mostly full jar of oregano that the Peanut had spilled all over the kitchen.  Now between that and the dirt, every time I vacuum it smells like Joe Torre's armpit.

Washed the floors.  I can't wait until the kids are a little older and have stopped playing on the floors so much so that I can quit washing them.

Cleaned the bathroom.  I can't wait until the kids are a little older and have stopped going to the bathroom . . .

Played with my kids simultaneously.  That is we all played with each other and then they went off and played together like sister and brother.  She called his name and he went crawling happily after her.  It amazes me because I was an only child.  I immediately called my mother and when she answered I sobbed, "you blew it. I hate you!"  into the phone.  Then I hung up.

Not really.

Saw an ad for the WWE's TLC:  Tables, Ladders and Chairs.  For one night only it's all legal!

I'm pretty sure that those three objects are always legal.  Unless you're smashing someone in the head with them.  Then, always illegal.  And I wonder how they came up with Ladders.  That doesn't seem like the natural progression.  I could see a nice love seat or an ottoman.  An antique armoire would, perhaps be an appropriate thing with which to brain a large, sweaty man in this context.   Maybe a nice hope chest?

Watched my poor, tired, still recovering wife fall asleep on the couch by 8:30 tonight.  Poor thing.  Of course, I wrote obscene words all over her face and neck.  In invisible ink.  Oh man, wait until she stands near an open flame or gets purple juice or food coloring painted on her head, she is gonna be so pissed.

Got some exercise and ate pretty reasonably.  Will reward myself for my efforts tomorrow by eating an entire cake.  2 steps forward, one step back.    

Wrote a completely nonsensical blog entry.  Hey, fleebie on the micmac.  You jibble?  Kanky.

Now I'm going to go put some laundry in the drier, start the dishwasher, and kick it, sleepy time style.

Have great weekends.

Homemaker Man

8 comments:

  1. You need to be more of a slacker. You're making me tired.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just called over from Aion site to say hi
    Have a RELAXING weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Whatever, you're not so great. My husband is way better. At least he doesn't write on my... hey, wait a minute...

    ReplyDelete
  4. YOu are a husband from heaven, an urban legend. Washing the floor? Seriously? Your medal awaits you my dear

    ReplyDelete
  5. Is Peanut one of your kids?? That is so adorable!! Kids + floor = mashed potatoe,toys and crayons that really really hurt when you step on them *that's what it's like in my house anyway* lol :) Cool Blog!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Candice-Eh, that's it for me for the week. the diapers they have on now will have to make it until wednesday.

    Betty-Sorry I haven't been over lately.

    Tumbleweed-Ha! You have invisible obscenities all over you!

    S.C. - I was very moved

    bernthis. Aw shucks. Really, ahm just doin' my job, ma'am.

    smileyfreak. Peanut is my 2 and 3/4 year old daughter. I should probably be more clear. Thank you for visiting and commenting. I am going to head over to your blog right now.

    ReplyDelete

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