First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Monday, December 21, 2009

Today I . . . Holiday editon

Got the christmas Tree.  Got the Christmas tree stand.  Got the tree in the stand and upright in under twenty minutes.  Unfolded the new plastic safety pen to put around the tree so the kids and pets won't climb it, pull it down, set it on fire, dance around the fire in celebration of the true pagan nature of the holiday, and finally choose the weakest among us to throw on the fire in the ultimate sacrifice to the god santa in order to make sure they get lots of good crap.  Immediately and irreparably snapped the new plastic safety pen into pieces because when stressed and celebrating Christmas, I have the strength of ten Jews.

Drove back to babies r' us, returned the gate ("What was the problem sir?  "Uh, it called me fat.") and brought home a smaller, sturdier more expensive metal one.  Got it set up quick, stepped back, and realized that once the tree finishes falling, it's going to look like we bought it a girdle.

Shrugged.

Finally finished cleaning out from under The P-Man's bday bash aftermath.

Also, earlier in the day, started transitioning the Peanut into big girl underwear.  Dragged both children out of the puddle of piss they had been playing in for at least 5 seconds due to said transition.  Bathed and dressed both children.  Fed the Pumpkin man a bottle while my wife undressed, re-cleaned and re-dressed the Peanut after having her second accident.  Celebrated mightily when 6 hours later she managed to make it to bed time without having another accident.  Broke down and bought Dora underwear to help the cause.  Admitted to myself I might get a small laugh if my daughter has an accident and craps on Dora.

Has a Christmassy beer and a bowl of ice cream for supper.

Shrugged.


Wrote blog post.

Said good night.

Homemaker Man

5 comments:

  1. christmassy beer and ice cream for dinner? Be RIGHT over for that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL!!! I *knew* I should have posted about the big, fat fail my idea to finally have a use for the expensive metal play yard was. That is why I didn't post pictures of our tree. It is a bush (number one) and then when the branches fell, they didn't fall far at the bottom. When I realized what was going on, I moved the tree out into the Florida room, and left the play yard, once again unused inside, but, the damage had already been done to the tree. Hahahaha....

    I had hard cider and pie for dinner, and this morning I had egg nog and gingerbread cookie dough for breakfast, I did leave the Jack out of my breakfast nog though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love it! I could so use the Christmasy Beer since tonight we are doing our shopping (due to hubbys lay-off and the moving into the in-laws basement things are tight and we haven't had the money yet!) Yeah...as for potty training, if you want you can go to my blog and go back to last January and read about our joys with my little girl...my son is next...ahh, what an adventure!

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  4. heehee Cheers!
    Merry Christmas to you & the gang!
    xo

    ReplyDelete

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