First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


The Great Outdoors. It's Great, isn't it? And it's really, really outside. And big. And not inside. And we are going camping in it. This week. In the White Mountains. Crawford's Notch area. On Tuesday. I post this so if no one hears from us for a while, you'll know what to tell the authorities. We're due back Saturday night. I'll be getting a pizza.

We're going to be just like that family of campers in that one book you read/tv survivalist expert show you watch with the small, almost not worth noting exceptions that: we'll be in a campground and our car will be parked less than 25 yards away. And we have a pop-up tent. No assembly required, just extend the poles and pop-up the middle and bam, instant wilderness shelter. And a big ass cooler full of food. And beer. And we'll be less than 20 miles from Story Land theme park (excited? you bet). But otherwise, totally hard core wilderness conquering motherfuckers. Like Lewis and Clark with a propane stove and an after theme park dinner planned at local landmark the Spaghetti Shed. But without any sort of Native American guide. Except for Mapquest. Also, there's a ton of outlet shopping. But that's including an L.L. Bean Outlet so again, nature and down vests and shit.

This is the 2nd time we've camped both this summer and ever. The first was at a campground in western Massachusetts on the shore of Tully Lake. Really had fun. Only went for two days. This trip is four straight days of nature lovin', private showerless fun. There are showers on the campground. And a store where we can get most anything we'll need. But still, trees and chipmunks and shit everywhere.

Also, this is supposedly bear country. I have always wanted to wrassle a bear. I think I can win. I've been sharpening my claws on the local telephone poles and Bear Necessities is practically my theme song.

Other things to tell you: I quit my job at Foods That Are Not Broken. Just wanted more time with the flim-fam. Especially with school bearing down and the Peanut has/has had a bunch of doctor's appointments mostly due to her stature. In the Fairy Princess community, she's considered average height.

And, the Pumpkin Man had his first rush to the emergency room injury. I wrote about that over at Dadcentric.

Finally, remember, if anyone asks: White Mountains, Crawford's Notch, last seen trying to suplex a black bear.  Thank you.


P. S. For a real "stuff that happens to me when I try to go camping post," fuck this pithy bullshit and go here, if you haven't already. Oy.


  1. There's nothing finer than camping out in the great outdoors... especially when you have your airbed, your portable barcalounger, your cooler full of beer and your box-o-wine. I'll be heading out for the Thousand Islands on Monday, where I'll be able to see Canada from my tent. (My bid for foreign policy experience in case I ever want to run for public office.)

  2. I loved camping when my kids were little; their dad, not so much. Now all my camping is done at Hilton and Hampton Inns. But my kids now take my grandkids camping.

  3. If you're never hear from again, I'm just going to assume you fell in love with The Great State of New Hampshire and decided to live off the land. Just like Robert Redford in that movie he did when he wasn't quite so wrinkly.

  4. Camping is hell. #sadtrombonemusic

  5. Lewis and Clark totally did Spaghetti Shed. I mean, on the nights they got tired of fresh bear...

  6. It's Tuesday. Should I be scanning the TV guide listings for your story on the "I Shouldn't Be Alive!" or some such thing yet?

    We own a tent. Mostly just to say we're prepared if we ever want to go camping, but truth is, I never want to go camping. Ever. But hope you had fun...if you survived, that is...


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