Religious Interpretation

Hi all! How have you been? Good, good. Me, I've been just so busy with those things, and uh, the other stuff. And also a ton of errands. Just a ton.

I did spend Yom Kippur at the Fryberg fair. For those of you unfamiliar with Yom Kippur, it's the Jewish day of atonement. I know. I know. You're thinking, "I thought everyday was the Jewish day of atonement." The difference is, on Yom Kippur. we don't eat.  We fast and repent and that we get our names written in the Book of Life for the year. Big deal to Jewish kids, making an appearance in a book.

Nor do we usually attend huge state fairs. But it was the only weekend we could go, the kids love it, my wife loves it, I love it, our family up in Maine loves it, and what the hell was Yaweh thinking scheduling Yom Kippur for the same week as the Fair anyway. Nice omniscience, God. Here's a tip: try a calendar next time.

But, because I'm Jewish, I made a deal with the big Y. I will honor Yom Kippur not by fasting, but by eating every kind of deadly, disgusting, greasy, absolutely delicious morsel of Fair food I could get my mouth on. Here's the list, in chronological order: Falafel (surprisingly good considering we ate it at a Fair. In Maine.),Vegetable Samosas (ditto), Cotton candy, Ice cream, a shingle sized slice of black olive and garlic sicilian pizza, deep fried pickles cut in big wedges with a creamy dipping sauce, deep fried corn-on-the cob, kettle corn, fried dough.

Do you see what I did for you, G_d? What I put in my body? Deep fried pickles. And, O G_d Almighty, they were half-sours! Now write my name in the Book of Life and next to it in the margin put down "cholesterol poisoning."

Fair was great. We saw all kinds prize winning cows and chickens and horses and sheep and rabbits. I'm pretty sure we're going into Angora Rabbit farming. Only takes two rabbits to yield enough wool for a sweater. And the rabbit wool is 7 times as warm as sheep's wool. I read a pamphlet, so I'm pretty much an expert. The name of our farm will be the Bunny Ranch. Is that taken?

Goodnight!

HM

UPDATE!

I forgot the G_damn chicken fingers and french fries.