First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Of The Earth

This is the Earth.

A billion years of death and life and death again.

Under my fingernails and in the creases of my hands.

My family works the Earth.

As did our Ancestors.

Ancestors who toiled in The Earth and were rewarded.

Ancestors who worked The Earth and had their efforts rebuffed. Rebuked firmly by barren land.

Ancestors long entombed in that very same capricious Earth.

We take now from The Earth our bounty.

A bounty that feeds us body and soul.

As we, in the end, will feed the Earth's insatiable hunger.

The Earth should have it's cholesterol checked.

Fat bastard.  Fatty.

Hey Earth, what's your pants size, Jupiter? Earth's so fat it has to borrow belts from Saturn.

So uh yeah, did I mention we built vegetable garden boxes? Was that a little too dramatic? It's because it's our first vegetable garden, and I'm excited. You can tell I'm when I'm excited because everything comes out sounding like a poetry slam (makes sex-time fun). I call it my Def Homemaker Man Def Poetry Def Jam Slam

But yeah, a little melodramatic. Certainly, snipping some thyme for my roast chicken does not a bounty make. It does make good roast chicken, however.

We built 3 4X4 garden boxes giving us 48 sq. ft of gardening space. We planted, lessee, yuh gotcher squarsh, tomaters, letturce, spinach, onions, cabbage, peas, celery, cauliflower, broccoli, bell peppers, chili peppers, and some other stuff I'm sure I'm forgetting.  Rice maybe?  Durian fruit? And also various herbs in little pots.

It was pretty enjoyable to do. The third box was a bit of a hassle considering we decided to do it last minute and ended up finishing it around 11 oclock at night. Lotta things go on in my city around 11 oclock at night. Farming, not usually one of them.

The kids really love it. They love the dirt and the idea of the growing veggies and the ownership of it all. It's very exciting and I'm really looking forward to pulling that first ripe tomato off the vine, taking a juicy, messy bite, handing it to the P-Man, and then watching as he whips it at his sister.

"We made that possible together. As a family." I'll say as I spread my arms and rest my hands lightly on my children's backs. "Now go to time-out."

We're poor but proud New England dirt farmers now. I can feel the dour wisdom flooding my veins as I write.

Wait, nope. That's just the cholesterol.

So that's one of the reasons I've been a bad blogger lately. We've been busy with some other things and I've also had limited computer access.  Will try harder. Will probably fail.  Will not mind that much because will be too busy fending off the local wildlife. Shoo feral kitty. Shoo!

Garden pics:
Lo, We made multiple trips to Home Depot, and Mother Earth saw that is was good.
Or you know, pretty decent.

Remember what I said about critters? Behold, physical evidence of . . . El Chupacabra!
Or a kitty.


  1. Now I will forever think of you of a wise, old, New England farmer. You should change your name to Jebidiah.

  2. I am impressed by the neat compartments of your garden boxes. May the wooden sides soon be overflowing with Earth's goodness and mercy.

    Or, good luck with the veggies.

  3. A fellow SFG-er!! We built our first SFG in March and so far we're loving it! We only had room for one small one and we had to make it with cinder blocks because we are not the handy kind. But we put some strawberries in the cinder block holes so it wasn't a total waste. I know this is a parenting blog but keep updating on what you get from your garden! And if you want some bell pepper, habanero or tomato plants, you're welcome to my extras. I only have room for one or two of each but they only sold them in a 6-pack.

    BTW - you could give Pearl Buck a run for her money.

  4. That is really cool. We had only grown tomatoes before last year. Then we tried a larger raised bed and got the benefits of a large variety of veggies. Enjoy!

  5. I'm impressed; I toyed with the idea of doing a raised bed this year but that would require effort and time and money; none of which I possess or have extra of. Enjoy the bounty and I hope to join the ranks next year!

  6. Nice work! See you at the grange or the grain elevator or wherever it is us farmers hang out?

  7. That square-foot-gardening thing always looks so enticing, I fall for it every 4 years or so. It never ends well.

  8. This is a parent blog? Well, what the hell. Learn something new every damn day.

    OMG! Holy crap! The sun, the sun, the sun just came out! Your writing about earth's bounty is a magical thing.

    ::I am NOT kidding about the sun::

  9. Bravo ~ sounds like you have worked hard yet are having some fun ~ Visting from i am a New England Blogger ~ thanks for an interesting read ^_^

  10. @SL Holy shit. My name IS Jebidiah

    @Linda Thank you. I'm not good at building stuff so, it's a bit of an accomplishment. We bought our good mother Earth at Home Depot, brought it home, took it out of the bags, mixed it, and boxed it back up again. Ah, connection with the Earth.

    @Nicole S. The cinderblocks are a great idea. Wish I'd thought of that. The box building brought many tears and much consternation.

    @laughingmom Thanks. We did a small tomato plant and herbs last year. If everything goes well this year, we'l make a giant paper mache cornucopia and fill it with our bounty.

    @Dawn You know, it did cost some good money. We're hoping against hope we did it right the first time so that we don't have to pay like that again. Then we'll eventually make the money back. Hopefully.

    @Eva Thanks Eva

    @Beta Dad THanks. Meet me up when I'm plowin the thuh nawth Fawty.

    @SC We will make it, dammit!

    @Cheryl You'e also not kidding about the magical power of my blog.

    @ArtMuse Dog and Carol Thanks for the visit!

    @Boom Boom Thanks, yeah, they're alright.

  11. Damn you for letting the cat out of the bag about the magical blog. I thought that was our little secret. ::wink wink nudge nudge::

  12. My wife's in charge of the gardens at our house, with the boys and I as just muscle. They've gotten bigger and better every year. We're now at the point where, between the garden and the chickens, we're producing a pretty decent amount of food from our backyard. It really affects how you savor the food you eat.

  13. I always heard tell that your neck of the woods is rotten with chupacabras. Sorry to see the stories are true — and that it's only a matter of time before you and your family are goat-sucked.

    Still: nice veggie boxes.

  14. And to think I am letting my Easter tulips wither and die instead of actually planting might require a shovel, ya know.

  15. You'll be the one laughing when you are eating salads all summer long. Bwaaahaaahaaa!

  16. My gosh Goatsucker predators - I think you could get rid of those Stinky things by eliminating that Durian fruit!!! Very nice job on those boxes though. Next year, just add some glass (or Lexan) on top and you'll have coldframes to extend your growing season! W.C.C.

  17. How fun! gardening has taught me to be more patient...
    sweet weekend guys!


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