First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man
Showing posts with label Letter D. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Letter D. Show all posts

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Teaching D the Homemaker Way


One of the kids' beloved Aunties is a kindergarten teacher.  She taught a unit on the letter D.  She wrote a book—Dexter--and they did illustrations and made up characters and all kinds of stuff.  They did a whole unit, multiple days, on the letter D. 

That knocked me out.  Sure, in high school you have to read novels and poetry and learn about metaphor and . . . other things in writing (pencils?), but you lose that focus on the details. Which starts with D.

In kindergarten, they fully explore D.  They look at D from every angle.  Inside and out.  They crawl into D’s skin and walk around in D’s shoes.  They really find out what makes D tick.

Thinking about that made me think of this:


A gruff, old-school, newsroom editor-type in front of a bunch of kids:

Editor: (forcefully) I want you to give me the dirt on D, you hear?  What does D do in his spare time?   Does D drink?  If so, is it Dos Equis or Drambuie or what?  I want to know every D detail.

You, whaddya got?

Little Boy: (reading from note pad) D is married to a nice girl named Deloris, but he steps out daily for dalliances with other dames. 

Editor: D is for dog, eh?  Good work, Daniels. (turns)What about you?

Little boy 2: (Nervously shuffles papers) D is for Dinosaur.

Editor:  D is for Dinosaur?  No shit?  Wow.  Does it come after C, too, by any chance?  Jesus Christ!  How about this? D is for Dunce because you gave me Diddly! 

Listen.  I want to know everything about D.  Where he eats.  Where he sleeps.  I want you up D’s derriere with a goddamn flashlight!  Does D have dingleberries?  I wanna know!

(Laughter)

Alright alright.  Desist.

(Leans forward, hands on desk)

D is out there. Right now.  Doing things.  Dollars to donuts D is dishing out dead presidents and deciding dogma for the Department of Defense as we speak.

C’mon you douche-bags, get out there and get me D!


Deliriously,

Homemaker Man


Update:

I almost forgot:

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