We have this Dora doll. It's almost 3 ft tall. The Pumpkin Man is in love with it.
It was cute at first. He'd carry it around everywhere. He'd sing, "Dora, Dora, Dora!" When he dropped her, he'd bellow, "Oh No!" All quite adorable.
Until the make-out sessions began.
Instead of talking and singing to her, he sinks to the floor, hands buried in her polyester filled head, and kisses her. Passionately. Noisily. Right on the mouth
*Smack.* *Smack* *Smack* *Smack* "Oh Dorah!" He breathily exclaims.
He won't let his big sister near her.
That has me imagining this:
Cut to 20 years in the future:
Knock at the door. I open it. It's my son with a woman of what appears to be latin descent.
The P-Man: "Mom, Dad . . . I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Dora."
Dora: Hi, it's so nice to finally meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Homemaker.
We exchange pleasantries. Move to sit in the living room.
Pman: I'll go get us some drinks. (exits)
Dora: (Whispering) My real name is Louise!
Pman: (from kitchen) Dora honey, what are you saying out there?
Dora: (To Pman) Uh, Backpack, Backpack! ( to us) Help me!
In case you're curious how a man who held the record for detentions in his 5th grade is handling his daughter's first foray into the culture of school, you can find out today over at DadCentric.
Have good days you guys,
I'm enjoying your Labels for this post... much better than your crappy, crappy post. I joke, I joke...ReplyDelete
Actually, that is rather creepy. But at least it's human, so that's something. Is that something?
Better he practices on the doll than the girl next door right.ReplyDelete
I haven't laughed out loud in a long time, thanks for that!ReplyDelete
Oh, sorry your son is turning out to be a sociopath.
What will be worse is if he's still in love with an inflatable rubber doll at age 20.. . A life-like one with orifices....eek!ReplyDelete
If Dora's a slut, Pnut Man is a lady killer, what the hell does that make you????????ReplyDelete
And people wonder why I'm nervous about having kids.ReplyDelete
Look man, relax. I'm sure Louise will be a reputable and mostly disease-free practitioner of the oldest profession.ReplyDelete
Would it kill Louise to at least speak with an accent for him?ReplyDelete
Better that he gets that curiosity out on a plastic doll than on a person. I certainly didn't practice on dolls when I was a little kid.... =/ReplyDelete
If he starts muttering things about Blueberry Mountain and maybe burying Dora there, if monkeys start looking him sideways, dude, you've got trouble on your hands.ReplyDelete
At least it's a Dora doll, and not one of her counterpart. Just sayin.ReplyDelete
You are just too funny! Sometimes a little disturbing but still funny!ReplyDelete