Well, my wife has it. The Swine Flu. She was diagnosed at the doctor's office a couple of hours ago. Swine flu. In my house. I feel like out of the corner of my eye I keep seeing wispy, ethereal, pig heads zipping around the living room trailing vapor.
Swine flu? I'm Jewish, I can't get Swine flu. It's not kosher. I refuse. There is no way I am getting some treif flu. I don't usually keep kosher, but I feel this is a good place to try.
My poor wife. On the bright side, she's home all week. Of course, it's with Swine flu . . .