Reason 56473 I am feuding with Dora the Explorer:
(Repeat) Dora the Explorer "The Big Potato," (2003) Benny the Bull accidentally turns himself into a big potato with a magic wand he found. (Educational)
Aside from the fact that the writer of this episode was suffering from severe heat stroke when he wrote it, there's this: "(Educational)" "Yeah honey, that giant bull is now a tremendous potato. That's science."
Lately we've been gently toying (toying, family readers)with the idea of adopting a baby. I've been de-spermed, and my wife wants a third. We floated the idea by the Peanut.
"Peanut honey, would you like a new baby? Would you honey? Another baby like your brother?"
Her: Yeah. Three babies.
Us: Three babies? (Authors note: No.)
Me: What color would they be?
Me: Pink? What are their names?
Her: Baby Pink.
Me: Baby Pink?
Me: What would the other babies names be?
Her: Baby Brown.
Me: Brown and what?
Me: Have you ever seen Reservoir Dogs?
That could be. She has a huge Harvey Keitel poster in her room.
One more Peanut conversation.
Sometimes I'll have these conversations with her where although she is talking to me, I know she's not really paying attention. She's playing a game and I better play along or else it's a shiv in the calf for daddy. It's times like these I'll sneak shit past her just because I know my wife'll laugh. This one was about the cartoon Max and Ruby. Max and Ruby are 3 and 7 years old and there are never any parents in any episode. Just an occasional appearance by a grandma carrying desert. It makes watching weird:
Her: (to me) Honey. Honey. You're Ruby. You're Ruby, daddy. DADDY, you're Ruby.
Me: I'm Ruby?
Her: Yeah. And I'm Max.
Me: Oh yeah? Well in that case Max, you better get your ass upstairs and get cleaned up. Grandma is coming over with one of her shitty cakes so we can pretend we're a real family.
My wife: Laughing her ass off.
At this point the peanut is off and playing whatever episode she had on her mind. These opportunities are becoming very rare as she gets older. Sigh.
Finally, I buried this at the end of a long post because I hope most of you won't get this far. I blew it with nursing school this semester. I had financial aid issues and I suck at bureaucracy. I tried very hard, for me. At one point I brought the whole family to the financial aid office and had my wife assert her(very scary when she wants to be)self until we could talk to someone in charge of something. But bureaucracy to me is like sky-diving or terrorism or a zombie attack is to other people. Scary and overwhelming. I'm not giving up. I'm going in this week to make sure I can sign up for summer classes. 5 1/2 months should be enough time for me to get my shit together.
On the positive side, that development is going to give all of us so much more time together this winter and spring. You're welcome.