Reason 56473 I am feuding with Dora the Explorer:
(Repeat) Dora the Explorer "The Big Potato," (2003) Benny the Bull accidentally turns himself into a big potato with a magic wand he found. (Educational)
Aside from the fact that the writer of this episode was suffering from severe heat stroke when he wrote it, there's this: "(Educational)" "Yeah honey, that giant bull is now a tremendous potato. That's science."
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Lately we've been gently toying (toying, family readers)with the idea of adopting a baby. I've been de-spermed, and my wife wants a third. We floated the idea by the Peanut.
"Peanut honey, would you like a new baby? Would you honey? Another baby like your brother?"
Her: Yeah. Three babies.
Us: Three babies? (Authors note: No.)
Her: Yeah.
Me: What color would they be?
Her: Pink
Me: Pink? What are their names?
Her: Baby Pink.
Me: Baby Pink?
Her: Yeah.
Me: What would the other babies names be?
Her: Baby Brown.
Me: Brown and what?
Her: Blue.
Me: Have you ever seen Reservoir Dogs?
Her: Yeah
That could be. She has a huge Harvey Keitel poster in her room.
One more Peanut conversation.
Sometimes I'll have these conversations with her where although she is talking to me, I know she's not really paying attention. She's playing a game and I better play along or else it's a shiv in the calf for daddy. It's times like these I'll sneak shit past her just because I know my wife'll laugh. This one was about the cartoon Max and Ruby. Max and Ruby are 3 and 7 years old and there are never any parents in any episode. Just an occasional appearance by a grandma carrying desert. It makes watching weird:
Her: (to me) Honey. Honey. You're Ruby. You're Ruby, daddy. DADDY, you're Ruby.
Me: I'm Ruby?
Her: Yeah. And I'm Max.
Me: Oh yeah? Well in that case Max, you better get your ass upstairs and get cleaned up. Grandma is coming over with one of her shitty cakes so we can pretend we're a real family.
My wife: Laughing her ass off.
At this point the peanut is off and playing whatever episode she had on her mind. These opportunities are becoming very rare as she gets older. Sigh.
Finally, I buried this at the end of a long post because I hope most of you won't get this far. I blew it with nursing school this semester. I had financial aid issues and I suck at bureaucracy. I tried very hard, for me. At one point I brought the whole family to the financial aid office and had my wife assert her(very scary when she wants to be)self until we could talk to someone in charge of something. But bureaucracy to me is like sky-diving or terrorism or a zombie attack is to other people. Scary and overwhelming. I'm not giving up. I'm going in this week to make sure I can sign up for summer classes. 5 1/2 months should be enough time for me to get my shit together.
On the positive side, that development is going to give all of us so much more time together this winter and spring. You're welcome.
Doggedly,
Homemaker Man
Reservoir Dogs is a very educational movie for children. I watched it the other day with my nieces and then followed with True Romance.
ReplyDeleteMy beef with Dora... should she really be exploring without anyone old enough to rent a car? I don't think that monkey is a suitable chaperone. He's a monkey.
It's educational because now my kid says things like, "stop Mom, it's a rojo light."
ReplyDeleteI have watched every episode of Max and Ruby due to a little addiction my 4 year old has...and NEVER have put an age on Ruby. My son calls her a teenager since she is always ALONE and watching Max. Who knew your blog was so (Educational).
ReplyDeleteI think I've seen a snippet or two of Max and Ruby (does a google search...wait that is the bunny show? I think I was confusing that with ...searching....nick jr? no. PBS kids? no...Disney playhouse...BINGO - Charlie and Lola. I don't think I've ever seen a parent there too. Now that a weird little show.)
ReplyDeleteMy point is, sorry to hear about schooling be delayed. Is it possible to just take one class to feel like you are getting started and ease into it?
This is a personal question, feel free to tell me to bug off. Did the idea of having a third always have the intent of adoption? As in when you got snipped did you both do that with the firm intent that you did not want any more children? Or just anymore biological children? (I wonder because I told the DH that waiting two years is the best idea before we make any firm decisions, though I am 98% sure that this is it for us biologically).
We were a little hasty in the snipping department; luckily, we got it reversed for free. If you have a teaching hospital anywhere in your vicinity (and I believe you have some good ones), you can ask if they need some practice on reversals.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine got her HCA certificate (6 months) from our local community college; and now the hospital she works at is paying for her nursing degree.
Larry handles the bureaucratic requirements in our family. Sometimes I try - but I usually end up putting on my best Ingrid Bergman/Ilsa Laszlo accent and saying, "You'll just have to do the thinking for both of us." Works every time...
Although I do the taxes. For some reason, Larry can't do taxes. Me, they're in my blood - my dad is a CPA. Don't tell anyone, but I like taxes.
Was this comment long enough?
Dora is banned from my house. I can't stand her. She yells.
ReplyDeleteMax and Ruby are odd. I think there might be some hanky-panky going on it that house, if you know what I mean...
And love your pick for best kids flick. Reservoir Dogs is wonderful for the 4 and under bunch.