First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Truth about Lobsters.

I want to clear some confusion that cropped up concerning lobsters after my last post.   They do not have vaginas.

I know this because I dated a lobster in high school.  I found out when I tried to get to third base, and there wasn't one.  We tried other stuff, but take it from me; there is nothing fun about a "claw-job."

She dumped me after about three months.  I was upset.  I got over it with a marathon visit to Legal Seafood.  I don't handle rejection well.

The lobster?  She became valedictorian.  Her speech was titled "Lobster Civil rights in the 21st century:  Butter: Enemy Mine."


Science fact

Lobsters have swimmerets.  Small paired abdominal appendages that help with swimming and reproduction.  And they carry and fertilize their eggs externally on these swimmerets.

This is a swimmeret:

I'll admit, it might look vaguely vaginal.  Like the maw of virtually every science fiction movie monster ever.  But trust me, it's not.  


Homemaker Man


  1. Thanks for the claw job warning, man, b/c My Love's out of town and ...

  2. You should be locked in a room somewhere with Tina Fey writing tv scripts. Seriously.

  3. Looks like I was right when I said you were kinky... Although I had no idea of the sick scale you were operating on. Well done sir!

  4. "I'll admit, it might look vaguely vaginal. Like the maw of virtually every science fiction movie monster ever."

    ROTFLMAO over that gem! :p

  5. You totally crack me up again! Thanks for the laugh!

  6. Well, at least I'll be able to sleep at nights and not worry about the female/male lobster reproductive cycle!

  7. Funny stuff. "Claw job" had me chuckling.

  8. AHAU- If you really need to, go with the soft shell crab.

    SL-. Yeah, To The Death!

    PB- Don't be coy. They don't call you the Mollusk for nothing.

    Viv! - Viv!

    E.G.- Makes me smile to make you laugh, E

    Brittany-Good to hear from you!

    Peg- Thanks. I had'em done in '02

    Alice- Really, that was my main aim with this post. Education.

    Chris- You wouldn't if you really had any idea . . .

  9. And you were worried about reviewing products? HA!!

  10. Thanks for the education on Lobster "trap".

    I totally get it now.

  11. awwhaha!!! Okay, if you are scrolling down to get to an earlier post and are not yet reading the post where these pics are attached to it just looks gross! Like some scary yellowish person with milk poured all over there torso.

  12. Butter: Enemy Mine.

    That's pretty damn funny, sir. Thank you.


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