First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Craft Time in The Garden of Good and Crappy

With my wife home swiney most of the week, we had some construction paper craft time.

Guess which one I worked on and which one my Wife and the Peanut did together:


Ok. Whose got a guess?  I'll tell you.  I did the car.  Surprising, I know.  Surprising because it is so much better than the flower garden

I mean, look at the thing again.  The proportions are completely unrealistic.  The sun is the same size as the flowers, which are the same size as the butterflies.  And that is one big-ass mutant ladybug.  And why is that caterpillar so happy?  I guess because he knows that one day he will turn into a giant sun-sized butterfly.

Meanwhile, that car project.  So mysterious.  So thought provoking.  Where is he going?  Where has he been?  What kind of car is that supposed to be?   Why does he appear to be driving at night under a moonless, starless, sky through a completely featureless landscape(wow. heavy.)?   Why are his arms black while his head is orange?  And why does it look like his toupee' is falling off?

I think the biggest question about the one I did is how the hell did I get out of first grade with that kind of hand-eye coordination?  And imagination and powers of observation.  I mean, not even a stop sign?  What the fuck?  The one my wife and daughter did is so very cute.  I did help with part of it.  I cut out the deformed, lumpy body for the caterpillar.

I was actually thinking of myself and our car when I made mine.  Of course, we drive a beige Subaru Forester and the car in the picture, as far as I can tell, is a blue, jacked-up Smart car sort of creation.

And no, I don't wear a toupee' for those who are wondering.  I rock a weave, thank you.

My wife goes back to work tomorrow.  No fever today.  The Peanut is feeling much better as well, though she does spike a mild fever in the morning still.  And the Pumpkin man and I both avoided it.

Very good news all-in-all, though we are going to miss her for sure.

Okey-dokey artichokey-s.  Gotta hit the hay.  The morning rush around here before taking my wife to work is pretty intense.


Homemaker Man

P.S.  I don't want to leave out the Pumpkin Man's crafting contributions.  Much of the paper was pre-chewed for us and everything was adhered with pure baby spittle.


  1. OH man. I want my husband to do a craft project now. I busted out the paints for the first time the other day...god was that yesterday? And after trying out each color my daughter decided she was done and just wanted to pack up the paints and carry them around. I wish I had a picture to post with her first painted artwork. Alas...she dumped the cleaning water all over it.

    I think both deserve a spot on the fridge for at least a couple of months.

  2. Those crafties are great. Good work!
    Have a nice day!

  3. "rock a weave..." You're so damn funny!


  5. hadjare-They will get their moment of fridge time. Tell your husband that it's really fun and that the little ones don't really care how good it comes out.

    Betty-Thanks. I think. Are you messing with me?

    Viv-You rock.

    Tek-It means we'll see. The peanut has to be fever free through tomorrow.

  6. The only thought the car provoked for me was "Why isn't that guy staying on his side of the yellow line?!"

    I'm guessing Deathwish. Suicide by oncoming tractor-trailer...

  7. S.C. Ha! Probably suicidal due to having an orange head crowned with a bad toupee'.

  8. The caterpillar is so happy because he just smoked a fat joint and got laid.

  9. So now I'm jealous of a paper caterpillar.

  10. After viewing those 15 toys not to get your kids for Christmas' at the Huffington post making the rounds, could you craft me a rickshaw next??

  11. I thought the above WAS a rickshaw. Thanks for the visit and for commenting.


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