First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Death Of A Vacation




"More suction."


"Mores sponges."

"Dammit, nurse, more sponges!"

"Screw it.  I need a clamp and I need it fast!"

"It's gushing.  We can't stop it.  I've never seen this much mucous"

"We'll stop it.  Give me everything you've got.   Tissues, Sponges, clamps, soup. Steam, suction, suction, suct wait. What's that?"

"We have a fever.  101. "

"There is nothing we can do."

"Call it.  I said call it!"

"Time of death 3:07 pm.  Cause of death, runny nose, sneezing, and a fever.  Classic Toddler-itis. This vacation never saw it coming.  I'll tell the family.  They . . . they'll have to try again in two weeks.  You never know what 'll happen, when it comes to Todder-itis.  It kills more vacations than bad weather and workaholism combined."

So, instead of romping through the woods in Maine this weekend, we're slumping through the living room in Everett, MA.  Not the best trade.  Very one sided.  

Kind of like if you were to trade LeBron James for me.  Bad move.  He could never handle being a SAHD.

On the bright side, kids are a little better this morning, and I get to catch up on my dvr'd shows and yard work.  Sigh.


  1. Great post. I am glad to hear that the snot monsters are getting better.

  2. Nooooooooooooooo! Kids DO ruin everything. Selfish little buggers. So sorry, and I hope you get to go in two weeks.

    Great post!

  3. You would be surprised what a couple of well placed pointing fingers will do to plug up a nose. Just make sure they use their own. Otherwise, that would just be GROSS!

  4. At least the vacation died at home- it's much messier when they go at someone else's place, always leaving pieces behind, etc.

  5. maybe you can still find a place to hide and grab that nap you were looking forward to?

  6. Had I known you were around, I would have had you fill in coaching soccer for me. LeBron couldn't handle that either, the bum.

  7. I have learned with being from being a parent vacation's seem to be a thing of the past. At least you got caught up on your DVR queue that's always a small victory for me.

  8. Ah, shitty dude. Hope you can resurrect that sum-bitch soon.


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