First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Monday, April 5, 2010

True Romance

This past Saturday was my third anniversary.  My wife's, too.  We were going to celebrate by going out to dinner and a movie.  Specifically, Alice in Wonderland (her choice) and Teppanyaki (Japanese Grill, my choice).  I've never been to a teppanyaki joint before, so I was excited.  What's more romantic than an onion volcano and a table full of strangers?  Kids were sick though.  So, we stayed home.  The night wasn't a complete loss, if you catch my drift.  Humminah humminah, boing boing boing, aahooogah! Jackpot!

Mmmm Bow Bow . . . chikka chikka.

Eyebrows. Waggling.

Our wedding:  Three years ago Saturday, we went before God and Rosario Salerno, the city clerk of Boston, MA, and tied the knot.  The date was April 3rd.  The Peanut's birthday is April 12th.  We practically had to buy an extra wedding ring.

We weren't going to get married, originally.  It didn't seem necessary.  But in the end, we have, my wife especially, pretty fucked up parental situations, so we did it.   Not wanting to chance that our baby might end up with her mom.  We're a pragmatic people.

We had to go before a judge first to get special permission to marry without a waiting period.  That part wasn't hard.

"Have you ever been divorced?"


"And you.  Have you ever been divorced?"


"Ok.  This court authorizes you to go and get married before your water breaks all over the Massachusetts state seal."

We went to the city clerk's office.  She squeezed us in right away.  She read her words, we cried and kissed, and we were married.

I don't worry much about telling the Peanut how she was conceived out of wedlock.  She surprised the shit out of us, is all there is to it.  We thought we were headed for the D.I.N.K. lifestyle.  Empty meaningless fun financed with disposable income.  Those poor schmucks.  And then:  Oy vey!  Baby.

I am incredibly thankful that she came along when she did.

Someday, my wife and I will renew our vows.  We'll have a more proper ceremony, with a smidge of pomp and circumstance.  Why not, you know?  But I don't regret our wedding for a moment.  There was no more love in any typical,  meticulously planned, poorly catered wedding ceremony than there was between us on that day.

We've been married for three years.  We've been romantically involved for about eight.  We've been best friends for just over 17.  I have felt like the luckiest person in the world for every one of them.

I am so grateful that we met.  I am so grateful that she chose me.   I am so grateful that she put out.  I am so grateful that I knocked her up.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Anniversary My Love.

Love always,



  1. Yup - our wedding was every bit as romantic. Our 2-month-old played the part of Best Baby. I guess it worked though - we're still here 18 years later...

  2. :) Sounds perfect to me. :) One day i'll hopefuly have a justice of the peace wedding of my own! lmao! A girl can dream!

  3. We were married by a justice of the peace 27 years ago in September. It was my second marriage, hubby's third. He was married briefly right out of high school, divorced, than married again. Second wife died of cancer at age 34. Met me 3 years later. I was married for 12 years, then that hubby decided to date; 31 years and 2 more marriages and divorces later, he's still dating! Current Hubby and I will be together til one of us dies, I have no doubt.

  4. That's a beautiful story surprise and romance. Congrats

  5. How very sweet. I'm a true believer in it not being about the wedding, but about the marriage. I'd rather keep that €25K thank you very much.
    Hope you get to go out and celebrate with an onion volcano soon.

  6. Romance, Homemaker style, might just be the best way.

    A very Happy Anniversary to you and Tumbleweed!

  7. Congrats/happy Anniversary is in order... Teppanyaki or not, you guys should be in a reality show?!

  8. Happy Day! Two thumbs up for your pragmatic romance!!!!

  9. You are such a softie. Except in a Mmmm Bow Bow . . . chikka chikka way, of course.

  10. And just think, you didn't have to spend the next 14 years paying for your extremely overdone and over the top wedding.

    I think you're smart.

    Happy anniversary.

  11. sahdpdx-Thanks. that's kind of how we feel about it.

    S.L. Maybe next week. And I agree. if the divorce rate is 50%, that is a a lot of pretty weddings and ugly marriages.

    Alicia Thank you. I enjoy thumbs. ?

    The rest of you, you'll get your replies via the back of my hand. Or email. Which ever is less violent and more efficient.

  12. Happy Anniversary guys. You sound very happy.


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