First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wednesday Night Fights

I let the kids watch tv this morning.  Over an hour.  So I could sleep on the couch.  Proud moment.  I was too exhausted to care, however.  Stayed up way to late with my vacationing wife last night.  No, that's not it, unfortunately.  We got into an argument about something we saw on Fox News.  Which right there should've signaled to us to skip the conversation and get with the bedtime.

The cable access station in the next town over played a smutty sex-talk show at 8pm and the town was in an uproar.  They also displayed a picture of two lingerie-clad women french-kissing each other with a squirrel displaying large, possibly human--they blurred it for the newscast, genitalia in the lower right corner.

This picture obviously attempts to make us deeply question our pre-conceived notions of art vs titillation. Or it wants us to pour boiling canola oil (no trans fats) in our eyes until it goes away.  Or it's just idiotic.  And if you google squirrel showing large penis in an attempt to see a non-blurred copy, you get a number of links about how female squirrel monkeys have huge clitoris that they use as pseudo-penises so as to dominate the males.  Now that's "P-whipped."  Wakka.

The uproar was not about the pic specifically, but about the fact that they can't ban the show because, get this, cable access tv is beyond the control of the fcc.  So it's purely first amendment rules.

Upon hearing this, my wife and I chose sides and went at it.  I'm not going to get in to what side each of us chose or who was right or wrong here.  That information would be relevant to the discussion only if I were right.

What is relevant is the fact that I can be a nasty arguer.  Smarmy, cutting and dismissive.  It's a lot like arguing with an asshole.  When turned on others, it's something my wife finds pretty entertaining.  I'll admit, it can be, if you're on my side.  If not though, it just sucks.

I wish I hadn't done that to my wife last night.  She argues with passion, facts, reason, and restraint.  Also, she was right and I was wrong.

In summation, Squirrel monkeys have huge clits.   Like a baby's arm.



  1. Thanks a lot HM, I was all dressed with my 'face-on' and now I have to go reapply all the eyeliner and mascara that I just cried off by laughing hysterically. Sheesh. You and your damn monkeys.

  2. I found it interesting that they didn't have very many complaints. Which tells us a lot about the Medford mindset! lol

  3. Yes! Finally, some useful trivia about squirrel monkeys! Pub quiz, here I come!

  4. Love a man who so freely admits when he's wrong, whilst simultaneously providing little known facts about squirrel genitalia!

  5. When I die, I want to come back to life as a squirrel monkey. That huge clit thing sounds promising.

  6. There are few things worse than an argument with your better half late at night.

  7. I was feeling all bad for you (because you seem genuinely remorseful) and then you made me laugh with that whole summation thing.

  8. gross. lol I did not need that image in my head before bed.

    I'm going to put a stop to reading your blog after 7pm. Sorta like the no eating rule. I think thats a good conclusion!


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