First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


And I mean that, bitches.

National Blog Posting Month, which has given itself the rather annoying nick name above, has seen fit to invite me to post everyday for a month. And by invite I mean I saw it on another blog and thought I'd give it a try. I was excited and then I saw that they call themselves NaBloPoMo, and I was less excited. It seems like they're trying much to hard to seem cool. Like calling it FroYo doesn't make it taste better than ice cream. But I'm doing it anyway because I feel that it is a good writing exercise. Maybe I'll get three or four really funny or interesting or even well written posts out of it. This would not be one of those thus far.

Lemmee see . . . it is definitely hard to write anything while watching Office reruns.

My son and daughter are both very small people. Not midgets (yet) but very low on the height and weight chart for their respective ages. This was cause for worry at first, but we've learned to live with it. They are both healthy and thriving in every other respect. And it is convenient for things like transport and clothing. They both grow out of clothes a little slower than your average kid and as far as carrying them goes I can actually fit each of them into a slot in a takeout drink carrier and still have room for 2 coffees.

The only large thing about them is their personalities, and the Pumpkin man's head. He is ten months old is 22 percentile in height and 2nd or 3rd in weight, and his head is in the 90th percentile. It is huge and perfectly round and white and bald and warm and mesmerizing. It begs to be rubbed. His sister tells people about it. The cat has been trapped under it. Laying there helpless while he tries to gnaw through her tail. Sometimes when I look at him I think "Sperm whale."

Don't get me wrong, he is a beautiful boy. People at restaurants or the grocery store stop us all the time to tell us so. Then they get caught in his head's gravitational pull and are forced to crash land their shopping carts on it's smooth, kissable surface.

He does have a very light covering of blond fuzz on it, which just makes it all the more cuddly. My wife and I have to stand on either side of it and link arms to really give it a good snuggle, but it's worth it.

I love you my big headed boy, and if you ever read this post, know that you are the most beautiful boy in the world, and I am already so proud of you. Know also that many movie stars are tiny people with huge heads and that hats are overrated.

Your not coincidentally large keppie'd dad,

Homemaker Man


  1. I have to laugh, at my daughter's last appt her stats were up for height and weight to around the 75th percentile, but her head only measured at the 50th. The way you talk about it, makes me think that perhaps I've stressed a bit too much about this. You would think that after six, I might have lost the ability to panic for no good reason, but, it seems that isn't so.

  2. "My wife and I have to stand on either side of it and link arms to really give it a good snuggle, but it's worth it."

    That just made me chuckle out loud. And you know, I read once that the most famous men in Hollywood tend to be short, with large heads.

    Random factoid that will never serve any purpose...

  3. Viv-The ability to panic about your kids just seems to stay with you I guess. You would know better than I.

    Sass-I think that is true, I mention it in the post so that the poor boy won't feel too bad about himself if he ever reads it

  4. I love that my little, peach-fuzzed head nephew has grown into a pumpkin.

    *hums baby beluga to herself *


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