First there was a Man. Then a Woman. Then in quick succession, two cats, a confused dog beast, and two kids. I stay at home with them. I'm the Man

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sunday. A day of blech. And supposedly haiku

I am supposed to have a haiku today, but there was no zamboni today so I don't have one.  The rink is very peaceful in the morning.  Wait, here's one about my crappy pie.  True story:

The pie was too tart
I took it out of the fridge
to confront my shame

I really did.  I put it in the fridge in hopes that I could fix it somehow.  Then I took it out again so I could look at it and think about what I'd done.  I have pie shame.

No skating rink today because at least half my family is too sick to be left on their own.  Whoever invented the flu is an asshole.  Nice job, dick.  If I ever meet you, flu inventor guy, I am going to poke you in the eye really hard.

The Peanut started choking at dinner tonight because she was in the middle of her nightly dinner time "if I don't eat I'll look so skinny that people will think my parents are starving me which will result in a diet consisting only of donuts, pizza, and chicken mcnuggets," crying fit when she inhaled the food that was in her mouth.  That sucked.  It's not fair to her in a way because I am already exclusively on the donut, pizza, and chicken mcnugget diet but hey, do as I say, not as I do.

This is the best job I've ever had.  And the most challenging.

But the work doesn't feel the same as work in the wage slave world.  If working at least part time since I was eleven years old in many different jobs has taught me anything about the value of hard work and the American work ethic, it's that I don't believe in it.  I work hard to be a good primary care giver to my kids, but that's different.  That whole work hard at your job no matter the what the job thing is nuts.  Work smarter, not harder.

That's why I built an android.  Homemaker II.  He's made out of diet pepsi cans and gumption.  He does most of the cleaning and errand running and in return I let him take the vacuum cleaner out on dates.  They seem happy.

Two or three short posts tomorrow.  I started this ridiculous NabloPoMo a couple days late but there is no way I am going to fail now.  This was a horrible decision on my part.

Ok, good morrow ye goodwives and gentlemen.

Homemaker Man


  1. I come here for my daily dose of weird. I am not disappointed.

  2. I have a friend who swears that he switched to beer in a can to start saving up the aluminum for his walker, I'll switch to beer in the can if I can save up enough for two extra robotic hands. Well, no, still probably not.

  3. S.C. I am so flattered right now. Thank you.

    Viv- What if instead of switching to canned beer, you switch to canned wine? Huh? Classy too.


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